Review of J.R. Moehringer's Memoir The Tender Bar

Throughout J.R. Moehringer's charming memoir, The Tender Bar, the author recounts his efforts to write the great American novel about "Publicans", the Manhasset pub that was as much J.R.'s home as anywhere else. He struggles with the concept, unable to give structure to his beloved cast of characters and brilliant antidotes scribbled on scotch soaked napkins. It took J.R.'s growing up for him to find the plot of his story, as he makes the wise decision of framing it as a coming of age memoir. The result is a small but vibrant narrative populated with likeable figures that are half "Goodfellas," half "The Great Gatsby". Moehringer approaches his characters with an affection that is contagious, as you feel yourself growing closer to them with every turn of the page.

Growing up without his Father in a house mostly populated by females, J.R. is a kid looking for male influence wherever he can get it. Enter Uncle Charlie, who becomes J.R.'s first father figure, mesmerizing him with the way he talked, "a crazy, jazzy fusion of SAT words and gangster slang that made him sound like a cross between an Oxford don and a Mafia don." We all had a cool older relative, be it a brother, cousin, etc, but none were cooler than Uncle Charlie. Moehringer is often at his best when he's a second hand storyteller, as when he recounts Uncle Charlie's reenactment of the Leonard-Hagler fight. "Haggler wants to kill the son of a bitch. Small problem. He can't find him. Leonard glides around in circles, Hagler chasing, and when Hagler stops, Leonard stops and throws a feathery combo, jab, jab, uppercut, jab, then dances away. Bye-bye. I'd like to stay and chat but - jab, jag - got to run." And you're there right with Uncle Charlie, as Moehringer flexes his ability to keep the reader captivated.

No coming of age story is complete without a passionate, but ultimately heartbreaking romance, and J.R.'s Juliet is the knockout Sidney. Sidney is a heroine straight out of a Fitzgerald novel, a bright and beautiful girl who can love and yet remain unattainable at the same time. Everyone has a Sidney, and with every Sidney comes a hard earned life lesson. Part of Moehringer's mastery is his ability to create characters, such as Sidney, who are distinct yet easily replaceable with someone from the reader's own life. In many ways he's rewritten the same coming of age tale we've heard many times, but he's made the atmosphere so enjoyable that the story becomes an afterthought.

The major source of atmosphere throughout the book is the bar, which serves as the structural spine of the story. All of Moehringer's major life events, both successes and failures, are promptly followed by a trip to the bar. From getting his heart broken and going to hear about other people's tales of love and loss, to making it into Yale and being "backed up" by so many people you could drink for days. All of Moehringer's life lessons are gauged both structurally and emotionally by the bar, beginning with him first becoming aware of it's' existence at age 7 and culminating with his return following the attacks of September 11th.

The coming of age narrative has long been a staple of American literature, and Moehringer has added to the cannon a story with an emotional depth so remarkable, it leaves you feeling haunted, but in a good way. After reading about his life you feel as if you lived it with him, as if you had a stool right next to him all along. It's difficult to finish the book and put it down, as you have grown an emotional attachment to it that exceeds admiration.