Review: Necropolis Haunted House in Columbia, Missouri

Columbia, Missouri, is a cultural- and art-driven college town. There is even a mostly all-girls college known for its theater majors. There is almost always a play to be seen or a movie at the independent film theater. Art galleries are found aplenty downtown. It would not be surprising then that the Necropolis Web site boasts that it is the "#1 Rated Haunted Attraction in Missouri" and was "Rated #12 in the Nation by Yahoo". What is surprising is that none of the artists and theater majors found in Columbia seemed to have found their way into the Necropolis. Let's be honest, a few artists obviously found their way into the psychedelic, Freak Show in 3-D, but they must have stopped there and did not carry their talent into the Necropolis.

Tickets for the Necropolis can be found on their website or at various sponsor locations. Before you make the trip to downtown Columbia, where finding parking was surprisingly easy, buying your tickets online will save the hour and a half you will otherwise spend in line for tickets. If you do have to stand in line entertain yourself by watching the video shown on the side of the building or by watching the people standing in line with you. Columbia is a college town and the assortment of people allows for excellent people watching prospects, from those freezing in costumes to the teenagers making out. By the time the line snakes around to the ticket counter you will gladly pay the extra cash per person for a speed pass. The speed pass is well worth it and you are able to smile at those in the slow line who jealously watch you go inside before them.

A large group of friends makes the experience more fun, they help make standing in line more entertaining and they give you someone to clutch in front and behind as you make your way through the maze of Necropolis. Necropolis, which means city of the dead, is held in an old meat packing factory in which urban legend has it that the Bishop Factory Butcher slaughtered and tortured nine women. Fifteen of you are ushered into a small room then in to another room and onto a small platform. There seemed to be something going on in front of the platform but only those directly in front could see. After the introduction unseen by most, you are sent on to your trip through the Necropolis.

The Necropolis does produce screams. Many things, creatures, and people jump out at you and there are periods in which you walk through darkness with weird things brushing against you. Chainsaws seem to be one of the most important scare tactics as well as people coming from behind curtains. Surprising enough to produce a scream? Yes. Nightmare invoking? No.

Necropolis also has the run of the mill walk-across-the-bridge-while-the-walls-spin-around-you room. Nauseating, but by no means frightening. Even in the rooms with bodies lying on tables under sheets no one jumped up to scare you as you walk by. We all had a good time and had a good scream but it was no scarier than the other major haunted house in Columbia, Fear Fest.

After the haunted house you can visit Freak Show in 3-D, the newest Necropolis attraction. In the Freak Show you are given 3-D glasses (you do not get to keep them) and sent through a maze of glow in the dark paint. The 3-D affect even makes walking difficult at times and the few times something jumps out at you they seem closer than they are. This attraction may have been scarier if there had been more real actors but there were only two actors who you see through the whole thing and most of what jumps out at you is on levers. This was not a very scary attraction but it was very interesting and entertaining.

The Necropolis Haunted House is a fun attraction to go to on Halloween. It is fun if you are looking for a good scream and some surprise giggles. If you are expecting to run crying through the emergency exit or to spend the entire night after you leave huddled in your bed with your favorite stuffed animal and all the lights on then you will be very disappointed. The Haunted Attraction ratings of the Necropolis should not be taken into account if you visit, instead go into it like you would any haunted house, screams and giggles included.