Review and Story of St. Paul Lutheran Church in Lake Charles, LA

I'm sorry that this is somewhat still a jumble of thoughts. It is hard to get everything straight in this article because the members of St. Paul Lutheran Church in Lake Charles, LA did so much to hurt and reject my family and then show outright that the Bible means very little to them that it hurt a lot. There is not a "community of faith" in that building. There is only a "country club," and it is not a congregation where I belong being that I want to be in a community of faith.

While I would like to give St. Paul Lutheran Church a good review, I cannot do that at all. I grew up going to St. Paul Lutheran Church, and to be honest, there were only two pastors that I truly liked while I went there. However, I could tolerate the others.

By now, it is simply a country club, and there is no doubt about it.

St. Paul Lutheran Church is a member of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA). It has been a member ever since the ELCA was formed.

However, the last things on the members' minds are ministry, faith, or caring about others. I can say this from experience.

The most recent episode drove my whole family away from the church.

However, I will first state that yes, it follows a typical Lutheran service on Sundays and there is usually communion. So, if the only importance is attending a typical Lutheran church service and having communion, then going to this congregation is a decent option, but there are Episcopal churches that offer the same thing. The service is just in a little bit of a different order. It is not a huge deal because everything is there.

I was serving as the youth minister because, honestly, nobody else was interesting and everybody else said, "We don't need one," because "we have no youth." It shows right there that no ministry or evangelism was wanted because the members would make no effort to do any type of evangelism at all. They just expected the congregation to grow even though most of the youth that were there when I was a youth have grown up and moved away. There are a few that have children and are somewhat in town, but they rarely come and they rarely bring the children.

The members did not count the two children that would regularly come and then a teen and another younger boy that would sometimes come with their grandparents. For some reason, those four were NOT youth. I'm sure that they would love to know that, but that's what the congregation would say.

So, what about St. Paul Lutheran Church says that they do not care?

Here's the recent thing. My sister was accused of masturbation. However, this was hidden from her, from me, and from our parents for over four months! What happened to following what is in the Bible? The Bible clearly says to confront others directly and not spread rumors. However, a rumor was spread instead! I could already tell that we were being shunned, but I had no idea why it was happening.

We finally got an e-mail of the original e-mail that was sent to the education chairperson by the mother.

My sister has Asperger's syndrome, which is a form of autism. Anybody that knows anybody about autism knows that rocking back and forth is a way of what is called "stimming." Stimming means self-stimulation, and it is nothing sexual. Other forms may be things like flapping hands, sucking fingers, playing with toes, etc. It's anything like a nervous habit other people have such as tapping fingers on a desk or cup, shaking a pen or a pencil, or biting on whatever is held in the hand.

Another thing that is know is that there are two typical placements of the hands when a person with autism or Asperger's rocks. The hands are usually placed on either the outside of the legs or in between the legs.

Well, my sister was being responsible and not wanting to disrupt the church service. She went into what is called the fellowship hall. I had arranged to get couches in the one area for a youth room and she was on one of those couches.

A mother (I'll call her MJ) brought her son (I'll call me SJ) to the bathroom. As they were coming back, SJ simply said "hi" to my sister. Instinctively, she replied "hi," and did not move from the couch were she was rocking with her hands between her legs. Her ankle length skirt had been pulled up to her knees so she could sit somewhat Indian style and rock. It was the typical autism rock that many show babies do on television (the unfortunate part is that they do not show that adults also continue to rock).

Also, in MJ's e-mail, it stated that the very first thing she did was go tell the organist. So, the very first thing she did was gossip. Is there any other word for what she did? No, there is not. She can try and say it is something else as much as she wants. However, it is pure and vile gossip. I know the organist has gossiped about other things as well. I don't doubt that this easily spread through the whole congregation in one to two Sundays. Then she told the Vice President of the council and then she wrote the e-mail to the education chairperson.

So, after being shunned for four months, including having no help trying to arrange a huge event and having to do most of the stuff by myself (other than having the help of my mom and my sister), and then getting some items donated (including some rotten apples for bobbing for apples), we were still shunned.

The time was wrong in the bulletin. It was printed a half hour later than the start time despite the fact that I had announced the time for at least the past month. The pastor - Pastor Tim Norris - was late even for the printed start time.

So, people did not come. When we called MJ and asked if her children SJ and the daughter who I'll call DJ were coming, she let them play maybe two or three things then dragged them away. We still did not have the e-mail at that time.

It was only a month afterwards that we first got an e-mail saying that my sister needed to resign from being a Sunday school teacher with no explanation. When we asked, the education chair e-mailed MJ and asked permission to send her original e-mail. She got permission.

I was shocked and hurt at what I saw. It hurt me that she accused my sister of these things. It also hurt me that she accused me of things even though I had nothing to do with her misinterpretation at all. I was in the sanctuary and participating in the worship service.

However, MJ said everything about how my sister was sitting and such. (I knew how she was sitting and what was happening on that day when I came to get her after the church service). MJ accused my sister of "having a funny look" that "bothered her."

Well, she had a funny look because she was in an "autistic trance." She wasn't feeling good and her eyes were not focused on anything. My sister's eyes always looked glazed (she calls them "shiny" and sees it as an advantage, which is good). They look even worse when she does not feel good.

MJ's e-mail went on to assume that since she thought my sister was masturbating, I must masturbate in public, too. It also went on to say that our parents needed to teach us better like we are not adults (since when is it a big deal to have an extended family live in one household - especially in the south?). It went further from that to accusing us that we would start to sexually abuse and molest the children.

This was all from just one member of the congregation. I had asked my dad if it would be a good idea to e-mail the whole council my response to this e-mail along with the original e-mail. He told me that it probably would be, so this is what I did.

Instead of people being polite (after they used e-mail to communicate) told me that e-mail was not a proper form of communication. Of course, keep in mind that they had hidden everything from me and never talked to me whatsoever. They were having council meetings and trying to hide things from me as well. Every time I would walk into the church if they were having a council meeting, everything would get really quiet and tense.

So, we have a huge problem that the congregation does not even care for the members of the congregation - even the ones that have been there for over 20 years. We have another problem that all verses from the Bible have been ignored. Everything about going to your brother and sister had been ignored. Everything about doing unto the least of these had been ignored. The golden rule had been ignored. Even Pastor Tim Norris of St. Paul Lutheran Church ignored things that the Bible says. This is a horrible thing for a pastor.

What resulted from the e-mail?

Well, Pastor Tim Norris called me on the phone. He said that since he was the new guy on the block that he wanted to discuss things with me about the youth and about Sunday School. He told me that one other person would be there and I agreed that it would be okay for that to happen.

I got to the meeting and two other people were there. This was not the agreement that was made. However, I went into the meeting. Instead of talking about anything he mentioned on the phone, he started accusing me of all kinds of things. There was a mix up with what AC sent me in an e-mail (I've since learned a joined at one of those not-so-great update times). Associated Content told me to "let people know I've started writing" by entering e-mails when it took me to a page. I did this. I did not know that I was subscribing people to get e-mails every time I had published. I think I got those who did not want it to come off of the list by now, but every once in a while it seems to resubscribe some people or did not unsubscribe some of them.

They made a big deal out of one of my early posts. They said that I was purposely using the e-mails of congregation members to earn money. All I had done was enter the e-mails from my address books into the slots. I think there are probably some e-mails that don't even work any longer that are stills subscrbed.

It was an accident and I immediately fixed it. Then Pastor Tim Norris of St. Paul Lutheran Church kept telling me that it was time to attend adult Sunday School. I told me that I get no spiritual growth and fulfillment from adult Sunday School. I told me that I get that from the youth because they actually discuss the lessons. Instead, he just kept repeating that I should attend adult Sunday School.

So, that meeting went awful. I decided that I would no longer go to any meetings without my dad with me. Instead, I was called while my dad was out of town and I was clear that I would not talk to them or go to any meetings until my dad was back into town. This was held against me.

Why would I not want my dad there after the first thing that they did?

During this time, we tried to talk to MJ and her husband FJ. FJ says that he was not rude, but he was rude to every single person that tried to talk to him about the situation. He would not listen to anybody. He would always interrupt with the same phrase, "Well, that may be, but you have to understand." It was obvious that he only wanted it his way. There could be no other way. He was not wrong. His wife was not wrong.

The meeting was not what was expected. It was horrible.

My dad and I got to St. Paul Lutheran Church and as we walked into the fellowship hall, all nine people were lined up in a row. There was another table with just two chairs - one for my dad and one for me.

My dad pointed out that it was set up like a trial. The whole congregation tried to play that it was just a "coincidence," and said that they needed to see me. However, we know that council meetings are usually held at a circular table or in a triangle. We knew that this was not true.

Also, on the table were two papers. They stated that I was there for correctional behavior. I was hurt and my dad saw that and immediately ripped the papers into pieces and threw them at the rest of the council.

The whole time, I was yelled at by the members of the council that were there (one wasn't there and one was completely quiet and never said a word). Pastor Tim Norris did nothing but say "Remember Jesus is Lord" other than addressing some of the things that were brought up by the council. The council obviously does not understand that church services are public domain. They had a fit about a song he played on the guitar being taped and put on the Internet. However, they never follow the guidelines in their copyright licenses. It was so easy to get a CCLI license so music could be copied. However, instead of writing a simple little number on the copy, they would just copy and then say to throw the copies away and that we needed a shredder.

When it came to things in print, they found a blog post of mine where it only said "St. Paul" and the "lady who leads Sunday School" about how the stuff she presents is trimmed down so it is incomprehensible and she just gives her opinion and then talks about when her husband was alive. I know all three or four of her "When my husband was alive" stories by memory. I did not identify St. Paul as a Lutheran Church. I did not identify any of the members. I did not identify the pastor. I did not identify that St. Paul was located in Lake Charles, LA. However, all the council members had a fit that some random person may come across my blog post and know exactly which church and which congregation I was identifying even though there was no way to identify the congregation.

There was also an issue with some videos of SJ and another young boy on the Internet. The thing is that I had no idea that they were on the Internet at all. I was told that I had some on my YouTube account, but all I had was a video of myself. I was then sent an e-mail after the "meeting" with a link to a MySpace page, so I was very confused. It was a Christian Improv Comedy thing that I was trying to do with my sister. It did not work out. However, there were some videos that I had not uploaded. I made sure that they were deleted though.

If you guessed, yes, my sister uploaded them. Again, it had to do with her Asperger's syndrome and how that causes her to have bad judgment.

(Just a note that I talked to MJ way before any of this as well as my sister and MJ said that she "knew all about" Asperger's syndrome. However, she proved this to be completely false. She did not know the first thing about it!)

It goes to show that they really do not care about the legal implications and just wanted to hurt me and my family.

So, after being accused, I felt no better.

Of course, after enduring all this abuse, they said, "Don't tell anybody this happened, okay?" It's not okay. I immediately started telling people about what happened.

Honestly, ministry had not happened there for a long time and does not happen there, either. The members have yet to do any real work when it comes to evangelism and outreach. If anything was done, it was always my family helping me. I did the designs. I did the planning. My mom and my sister would help with getting supplies. My mom and my sister would help me set up my planning.

Every Sunday if I needed help after a church service at St. Paul Lutheran Church, nobody came to help even though I was always told people would stay to help. So, I would have to set up early and then people would get mad at me for setting up early.

One time there was a fire that burnt down a whole apartment complex - on the street where I live for no less. It was not great that my family was called about St. Paul Lutheran Church being a Red Cross shelter at the time we were called. However, it was good that we were called. For some reason, they still had my dad's name on the list.

We got there and then another member of the congregation came into St. Paul Lutheran Church and wanted to know what was happening. She was upset because her tea party luncheon would not be able to be held! It showed that caring about others was not on the top of her list at all. Other people were upset about this, too.

However, after my mom and I said that St. Paul Lutheran Church could be used as a shelter, every other person took credit even if they did not do anything. The only truly good part was that the first person that was so upset about the tea party not being held went to Wal-Mart and bought some socks and flip-flops for people who did not have any shoes.

However, after that, she complained about how things smelled like smoke. That's a given when there's a fire, isn't it?

While I would try to get fund raisers done for ministry, all the women cared about was building a new kitchen. Then, all the men cared about was getting more lawn equipment. It was very irritating. The congregation would always approve to spend money on many of these frivolous projects. However, when it came to ministry, no funds were allowed to be spent. This always visibly upset me. It was rare that I left a congregational meeting not in tears.

I can even go back to when I was a youth. Had I known that what the music director did was sexual harassment, I would have told my parents. When that whole family left, we no longer had a music director and it was once again my family that actually filled in until the organist took over and it suddenly just became her and her daughter.

Anyway, this music director- Susan Tevis - and her daughter - Alicia Tevis had the youth go on some overnight trips. One of them was in a cabin at a local state park. They forced my sister and I to take a shower together (we didn't really mind doing this). However, what they did do was open the shower door while we were showering and insist that we were clean. They insisted that we needed to be completely white and covered in soap. They would come in and open the doors more than once. Of course, this was a shower stall and the water was running. This meant that every time we were covered in soap, it was washed off by the water. It was a miracle that we were ever let out of the shower.

They would harass us about our hair. I'd not wash my hair if I was going to go to a youth event where we were painting the fellowship hall or washing cars. After all, I was going to get dirty again. Why would I want to wash my hair just to get dirty again?

The one pastor that was after the one that was there when we first started attending was very mean to me as well. I tried to always be there for acolyte trainings and other things she wanted the children and youth to do. Other people intentionally skipped. Every other person was given some type of award or recognition. These people did not deserve them because they never did anything to "earn" this recognition. They were things like attendance and participation. Then the pastor even made one of the guys "head acolyte" which should never happen at all.

So, it is only after this most recent incident that I realized how abusive the whole congregation truly is. I cannot imagine how I stayed that other than it was my parents' church, too. It is no wonder that even though I came to not agree with the majority of the Seventh Day Adventist teachings, after I had been in that church for a little bit, that I felt so loved and welcomed. They accepted me for who I am.

It hurts not going there at times, but it is only because I grew up there. I do not miss being abused at all.

Another hard part for me is that I identify as a member of the ELCA. I am considered a member of the religious left because of my beliefs about homosexuals and women serving in the ministry and even just the roles of these people in life.

Episcopals are a good fit, but they are not quite the same. However, my family and I tried doing a self service, but that did not work. Instead, we decided to change our ministry into something that is more of a Bible Study and perhaps we'll get that going into something.

We now attend an Episcopal church and have kept our membership with the ELCA.

Since we left, St. Paul Lutheran church has not grown any. St. Paul Lutheran church has not had any ministry or outreach events. They are staying a stagnant, graying, huge country club. It is what they want.

It is no wonder that St. Paul Lutheran Church cannot grow. They do not care about ministry. They are cold to visitors (I always try to say hello and make it an effort to get to know people, but most people are cold and do not do this). As a result, these visitors do not tend to come more than two or three Sundays and then leave. They easily learn that no ministry is happening at that church. They can feel that it is more like a country club than a church.

It is said, but my advice is to steer clear of St. Paul Lutheran Church in Lake Charles, LA. It is not good place to be. It is not a place where faith can grow. It is not a place where things are learned.

In fact, I first thought that Pastor Tim Norris would be good, but with his uncaring attitude and then how his sermons got really repetitive and sometimes did not match the lessons in any way, I got very sick of the sermons very quickly. Yes, I know that many sermons may end with the same message. However, that was not the case. The sermons were the same things, just said in different ways.

I don't remember, but I don't think he even went to a Lutheran seminary. I don't think he had to take any pastoral counseling classes. So, this is not a good thing at all. St. Paul Lutheran Church is a very toxic church that should be avoided at all costs.

Yes, it still hurts that any of this happened. If you don't mind talking to me about this, I would love to talk to you about it as well. Just send me a message here on AC.

I took the advice of another CP here. If not welcomed, shake the dust off your feet and leave. I've left, even though it is really difficult. It will never be easy.