Review: "Victorious: Music from the Hit TV Show"

I have never watched the television show called "Victorious," but it seems to be another one pushing a teen music star into the living rooms of children. I believe the main attraction is meant to be a female called Victoria Justice. I listened to the soundtrack for the television show and this is what I thought.

"Make It Shine": No worse or no better than its direct competition. They slicked it over and if you were dorky enough you could Arsenio Hall fist pump to this. Do it. Get on the Youtube and do it! This is apparently the motivational theme song for the television show.

"Freak The Freak Out": Hmmm, Freak the freak out is used as in: freak the F$%%% out; not freaking out an actual freak, but kiddie swearing. This song is a multi-headed chorus gone wrong and I can't tell if it is a boy or girl singing. Stupid and singing about throwing temper tantrums because someone is not listening to them. Grow up, stupid baby, stupid.

"Best Friend's Brother": Ha ha ha singing about having the hots for her best friend's brother. A BFB, BFB, and he's six foot three. I was going to say this is a song for ten year old girls and some boys, but if he is six foot three then that's kind of reverse pedophilia I think. How embarrassing to be the person in history who sang this song.

"Beggin' On Your Knees": "Watch your back because you don't know when or where I'm going to get you." Hateful kids going to get into some stalker trouble. Seems she is mad about a boy being a player. She sounds like a little boy herself when she sings sometimes.

"All I Want Is Everything": Another spoiled brat anthem.

"You're The Reason": The opening had me thinking this might be a song from "N.E.R.D." but alas, no. Cookie-cutter pop, the lyrics are delivered with the beat slick enough that kids should line up like robots for the lunchboxes.

"Give It Up": This is the beat to Lady Marmalade. Maybe they have been stealing the music from other songs for the whole album and I have only vaguely been paying attention. Lyrics are not the Lady M ones though. Beat equals proven winner, lyrics equal not, and vocals equal neither here nor there.

"I Want You Back": Yep, this is a rip on an oldies song. A fart. The Jackson 5 song that Rosario Dawson shakes her boobs too on the rooftop in the movie "Clerks 2," if I am not mistaken.

"Song 2 You": This is a boy singing, oh and there is the girl too. I get confused by these boys sounding like girls and girls sounding like boys. So, in an album where they want everything and keep making demands, now is the song about giving back. And all they have to give is the song about giving them the song. Jerks.

"Finally Falling": Now these little jerks are back to preaching and telling you how to live your life to be a good person.

"Leave It All To Shine": Seems like a hybrid mutant of a song that did not mix well and is all a mixed up mess. A sort of remix of the first song.