Ridiculous Chinese Fortune Cookie Sayings

Once again it's time to take some of the stress out of your day by breaking open Chinese fortune cookies and seeing what is inside.

1. Making love by an automatic sprinkler system can be a very wet experience in more ways than one.

2. It is best not to wave an American flag in the middle of the freeway.

3. Do not feed moose ice cream to a moose. Also, you will not grow antlers by eating moose ice cream.

4. You do not expand your mind by getting therapy from a shrink.

5. Wearing your underwear backwards is not a sign of being macho.

6. Brushing your teeth in the nude will not make your teeth any brighter.

7. Just because a woman sucks on a tomato doesn't mean that she is saucy.

8. Cheating on your wife may be hazardous to your health and your credit cards.

9. Stop blaming everyone for your troubles. Blame your cat instead. Sorry, scratch that idea.

10. You may not be getting any younger, but you are getting a lot fatter. Sorry, politically incorrect statement.