Ridiculous and Funny Things Customers Say

"Hello, may I take your order?"
"Yes, how long are your foot-long subs?"

At times like this I don't know if I should be serious, laugh at their face, or just stare with one half closed, twitching eye. To be frank, I'd love to give them a good smack across the head, stare at them blankly a bit longer, then roll on the floor, laughing. But then again, this is a professional food industry, and seeing how in America you can get sued for looking at someone the wrong way, even someone like me must exercise precaution.

"A foot-long sub is twelve inches." So I said, smiling like a clown.

Anyone who has been working in the food industry long enough have their own stories to share. Many stories will be similar, but even among seas of many ridiculous stories, there is always one story that somehow manages to stand out. The kind of story that is funny, serious, and amazing at the same time. The kind of story shared among others. The kind of story that is able to stand against test of time.

"Hello, this is Chris speaking, what can I do for you?"
"Yes. I ordered this omelet, and I don't like it."
"Is there something wrong with it?"
"Yes. I don't like this omelet, because it smells like eggs."

Do you remember watching cartoons that feature one character putting his/her hand through the speaker of the phone and slapping the recipient across the face? Well if I could do that I would've definitely done it that day, except for me, choking would have followed the slapping. The customer came back for a refund, and when I opened the box over half of it was eaten. Whoa, whoa wait a minute, you ate over half of the omelet and expect a full refund? Ultimately, I just gave the customer a full refund, mainly because I didn't want to argue anymore. I wanted to say mean things. But for the sake of this essay and the restricted content, I won't write what was on my mind that day.

These among many others are funny moments I encountered while working in the food industry. I have a lot more to share, but that will require pages after pages, and I would be typing day after day. If you have these similar experiences write about it in your leisure time, I'd love to read them for laughs.