Rihanna "20/20" Interview with Diane Sawyer: Still in Conflict

R & B artist Rihanna opened up to ABC's Diane Sawyer on "20/20" in her first full interview since the assault incident with singer Chris Brown on the day of the Grammy Awards. The Rihanna interview was aired in several segments on "Good Morning America" and in its entirety on the news magazine "20/20." Rihanna told "20/20" that she left Chris Brown was not only to save herself but because of the signal she was sending young battered girls, that she did not want to feel as if she were responsible for a someone getting killed.

After leaving a pre-Grammy Award party, Rihanna said she caught Chris Brown in a lie. He had received a text message on his cell phone from another woman and when she asked him about it, he lied. She said she wouldn't drop it and he got more defensive. It escalated to violence. She said she saw no "soul" in Chris Brown's eyes. By the time it ended, she said of the incident: "I was battered, I was bleeding, I was swollen in my face."

The more cynical are quick to point out that Rihanna went back to the man who had brutalized her a month after he left her beaten a severely bruise. In doing so, she saw herself being castigated by the press and losing popular support, which the cynical believe is what more likely as not prompted her leaving him after the reunion. They are even quicker to point out that what Rihanna did was make a good business decision when she decided to leave Chris Brown.

And Rihanna has a new album due to be released on November 23...

The more forgiving believe she left because of self-preservation, realizing that she was in a cyclical situation that would only lead back again to a re-occurrence of the assault -- and maybe worse.

But Rihanna told Diane Sawyer and "20/20" that everything about Chris Brown had begun to annoy her. Rihanna was experiencing what many women in battered and abusive situations find to be true. The annoyances often lead to passive aggressive or open confrontational behavior that eventually escalates into increased altercations between a couple. It is a survival mechanism in the abused, where the unconscious is telling the abused that they really want out of the relationship.

Somewhere in the annoyances, Rihanna found that she still loved Chris Brown but she also resented him. And that was when she decided she had to leave the relationship.

When Diane Sawyer asked why she had finally decided to do an interview, to talk about what had happened to her, Rihanna said she realized that she was being "selfish." She said, "If Chris never hit me again, who is to say that their boyfriend won't? Who's to say they won't kill these girls? These are young girls, and I just didn't realize how much of an impact on these girls' lives until that happened."

Rihanna said she was glad that it had happened. "Cause now I can help young girls." What would she say to those young girls? "Don't react off of love. 'F' love. Come out of the situation and look at it third-person and for what it really is. And then make your decision. Cause love is blind. So blind."

Whether truthful or disingenuous, heartfelt or calculated, Rihanna's words on "20/20" ring true in that taking a more dispassionate view of one's circumstances -- especially in areas where one is in psychological, emotional, and physical danger -- is in the best interest of the individual (and sometimes all involved).

But her own words indicate that she has not completely moved on. When Diane Sawyer asked if there was a chance at reconciliation someday with Chris Brown, Rihanna said she was still having trouble comprehending her emotions and felt an annoyance at still being connected to him. She said she was unsure whether or not she would ever enter into a relationship with him again. She said she couldn't answer the question.

Rihanna's conflict was evident. "He was my best friend, the person I loved. We spent two years of our lives together." Yet, "I don't have a desire at all to be with him." And yet again, "I don't see how we could ever get back together. But I'm not God, so I can't predict the future."

She told "20/20" she didn't hate the man that beat her. "No, I don't hate him at all. I actually love and care about him. I want him to do well, have a great career, have a great life and grow up. And just take this as something you had to go through to grow up and learn."

Chris Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault in June and was sentenced to five years probation and six months community service in August. He was also ordered to stay at least 100 yards away from Rihanna for the entire five years of his probation. Brown was granted leeway in cases of public events where the two might make appearances. His restriction was placed at 10 yards.

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Source:

"20/20: Rihanna Interview with Diane Sawyer," ABC Television