Ringing Santa's Bell: A Review of Bell's Christmas Ale from Bell's Brewery

We're friends, right? I mean, I'll always be there for you just as long as you knock on my door 76 times or ring the phone 111 cycles and I'm certainly there for you when you need me. What I'm saying is that I wouldn't lie to you. So when Bell's came to me and asked, "Hey Wörtwurster J. Knockwurst & Co., ye of the shiny red nose and epiglottis, what do you want in a beer?" I quizzotically exclaimed, "Gib me da gobdug good stuff mudder suckas." Well, that's just what they've done here. An irrationally malty maltburger registering 3.8 on the Fujita Scale of Egregious Malts and varying but not overbearing hops in a state-of-the-art beer bottle with label and hand-crankable top.

Are there Christmas spices in here? I proffer a hearty "no", Pompadour Bill. Is there a little funk in the tinsel old St. Worty? I tink so amigo. Are there chestnuts and an open fire? Only in the mind's eye and that bi-focal is glancing towards the glass sides trying to figure out how to muscle 200+ pounds into a mug the size of a coffee trough. Hell, the corpulent red suited man and his hefty sack goes down a dozen billion chimneys so why can't one fat bastard climb down the yuletide ladder 'o love towards beerland? He can if only he believes it so. And I do.

5.40% ABV

-Wörtwurst