Ritual Approaches to Death: A Cultural, Comparative Analysis

Ritual approaches to death and grieving are influenced greatly by a culture's beliefs regarding death's role in life. Common practices are funeral rituals, but how they are executed is what varies. Worden (2002) describes a well done funeral service as an "important adjunct in aiding and abetting the healthy resolution of grief (p.78)." He thinks that funerals can help in 1. making the loss real, 2. giving people an opportunity to express thoughts and feelings about the deceased, 3. being a reflection of the life of the person who passed, and 4. they have the effect of drawing a social support network close (78-79). Again these components are highly influenced by cultures existing beliefs surrounding death. Comparing my cultural influences, which are primarily Dutch Catholic, to Buddhism beliefs and rituals, I will examine the influence beliefs on rituals and the success that these rituals have on the mourning process itself.

Beliefs surrounding death are "socially constructed." The fears, hopes, and orientations people have towards it are not instinctive, but rather are learned from such public symbols as the languages, arts, and religious and funerary rituals of their culture (Kearl's Guide)." It is stated in this article that the idea of death in a culture directly affects the rituals that follow. Alternatively the rituals and beliefs could also influence the emotions surrounding death. The author gives examples of how the portrayal of a "celestial Disney Land" as the after life, may increase the number of suicides in a cultural existence. When observing alternative cultural rituals it is important to consider: the nature of the beliefs surrounding life, death and the hereafter; funeral rituals and body disposal; physical and symbolic boundaries between living and the dead; perceived roles of the dead on the "affairs of the living"; the public and private aspects of the dying process; social stigmas attached to the dead, dying, and bereaved; orientations towards and the rate of suicide, murder, and abortion; "centrality of social goal of death prevention and avoidance"; socialization of children and their participation in death rituals; "taboo status" of the topic of death and dying; the vocabulary surrounding death; and the conceptions of death in art (Kearl's Guide).

Influential Beliefs: My Dutch Catholic families ritual approaches to death are primarily influenced by the belief that when you die you either go to Heaven or Hell. My family never discusses the existence of any behavior that might condemn them to a life in Hell, such as, premarital sex or suicide. We had the unfortunate experience of death to suicide in our family and it was never spoke of after its occurrence. Life went on like the death never happened. At my grandmothers funeral she was held in the regards of sainthood. God allowed her to "lay down her robe" after a life of fulfilling his duties and living in his word. She was bound to Heavens gates for sure. The pursuit of heaven bound spirits derives from the belief in a God. This is a driving force on Catholic rituals. The mere fact that she is human and portrayed normal human error in combination with some really nice acts of humanitarianism was not embraced. In order to nominate her as a saint the church, as well as the family, had to eliminate any of the occurrences that they were taught might deny her such privilege. These influences fade gradually throughout the generations to follow, but they still persist within our rituals.

Buddhism has its own unique influential belief system. It is not indicative of a belief in a God or God's. The Buddha is often misunderstood as a God in which the Buddhist prays to. "However, the Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) never claimed to be divine, but rather he is viewed by Buddhists as having attained what they are also striving to attain, which is spiritual enlightenment and, with it, freedom from the continuous cycle of life and death (Adamson, 2007)." The Buddhist beliefs embrace the idea of impermanence. It is the acknowledgement of life as a short chapter in ones journey, that results in the living a fulfilling and meaningful one. Eliminating fear from the idea of death "ensures a good rebirth".

"Most Buddhists believe a person has countless rebirths, which inevitably include suffering (Adamson, 2007)." It is believed that the life lived and the state of mind during passing directly influences ones future life. Knowing this may influence the way in which one lives, just as the fear of hell or the anticipation of heaven may influence the choices my family makes while living. However the Buddhists ultimate goal is to end the rebirths. "Buddhists believe it is a person's cravings, aversion and delusion that cause these rebirths. Therefore, the goal of a Buddhist is to purify one's heart and to let go of all yearnings toward sensual desires and the attachment to oneself (Adamson, 2007)." The difference is in that the Dutch Catholics only get one chance to meet their destination. It seems that this may cause the mourners to emphasize the good over the bad. It is a finalization that increases the sadness that surrounds our rituals. The Buddhists are allowed many life times of trial and error. (Hawter, 1995). They are alike, however, in that there is an ultimate goal in which balances our choices and behaviors here on earth.

The point of rituals: My Catholic Dutch rituals are a method of mourning and closure. This often begins at the funeral/viewing. "In a Catholic funeral we pray that our deceased brother or sister be admitted into paradise (Byrne and Rick, 1997-2005)." We also derive strength from family and friends and lend our support to others in what can be a very difficult time. It is much like what is described by Worden. Seeing the body of the dead transforms a sense of unreality into something quite real. Consciously, this ritual allows the mourners an opportunity to pray on the body, in hopes of opening the path to heaven. "The Church has always encouraged prayer for its deceased members. This practice can be traced back to Old Testament times when the Maccabbean brothers prayed for their fallen colleagues with a view to the resurrection of the body (Byrne and Rick, 1997-2005)." It also offers a moment of closure, where the mourners say their good-byes. Subconsciously this process takes the individuals out of denial and into the beginning of an acceptance phase of grieving. This is often perceived as a moment for the mourners and not the deceased, however "the Catholic funeral rites offer us the opportunity to praise and thank God for the love ad mercy he has shown the deceased person (Office of Worship, n.d.)".

The unfortunate conflict that occurs in this culture is one well described by Welshons (2003). He explains that cultural training in ignoring and denying anything unpleasant, perpetuates "confusion and numbness by offering only distraction as a solution (p.25)." He states that the only way to heal through grief is to "make the journey from the mind to the heart." Worden's list also includes the opportunity to discuss mourner's feelings about the deceased. Unfortunately, and as he has also noticed, this often occurs in an over-glamorized representation. In order to successfully heal it is important that the mourners can discuss what made them happy with the person, but also that causing pain and hurt. The Dutch Catholic rituals often embody the over-glorified version of this practice. It would be very difficult to incorporate the alternative as it may appear as we are "speaking ill of the dead." This may inhibit our passage into heaven later.

The success in these funeral activities comes in the form of social support. The community gathers to support the survivors of the deceased. "The community of believers prays for the repose of the soul of the deceased, and offers consolation to the surviving family and friends (Office of Worship, n.d.)". This is good in that it allows those more emotionally affected by the death to experience those emotions. Without this support the emotions could take over the survivors leaving them to deal with them on their own, as well as the emotions of others involved.

The point of Buddhist rituals are to assure a successful passing of the dying. The rituals often begin prior to the actual death. Their lives are a preparation of this moment and many death beds are accompanied by those most savvy in successful passing practices. This is similar to the Catholics, that at the onset of illness, the priest is called and the anointing of the sick is celebrated to receive any health God may wish to restore of mind, heart or body. When death threatens, one may receive holy communion, called "viaticum", which is food for the journey into everlasting life (Office of Worship, n.d.)".

Buddhist rituals appear more focused on the welfare of the dying rather than the survivors. The goal in passing is a smooth transition to rebirth, where the dying has set his minds path with karmic rhythm. The knowledge of this passage and the acceptance as part of their life cycles appear to counteract denial, as a phase in which my family experiences. The purpose of death is clearer. It is a passage to the next life, and one can guess the type of life the passer will come to live by examining the motion that occurred in their first life. (Hawter, 1995).

The bulk of the traditions exist in the passing and a deceased body can be disposed of in any means possible. The only stipulation is to not dispose of the body until the soul has left. This could, by a stretch, correlates with Christian traditions whereas the body can be displayed for viewing for up to several days (Pilatio, nd.). Catholics are likely to bury their deceased due to the belief that the "body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, as well as the belief in the resurrection of the body (Office of Worship, n.d.)". It is nicely explained by (Byrne and Rick (1997-2005):

"After the Lord Jesus surrendered his Spirit into the hands of his Father, his disciples carefully prepared his body according to the Jewish ritual and placed it in a new tomb. By the three days he spent there, he made holy the graves of all those who believe in him and by his rising again we are restored to eternal life. As his followers, we too place the dead bodies or cremated remains of our brothers and sisters in the earth with the expectation that God will raise them to life again with the glorified Christ.

Our Christian burial places are blessed for the purpose of holding the body or cremated remains until the resurrection on the last day. Therefore, such a consecrated tomb is the most fitting place of rest we can give our beloved relatives and friends."

Some Western practices of Buddhism do include placing blessed remains of the deceased into statues. This resembles the concept of a tomb stone, where the mourners can continue the process of grief. In my Dutch Catholic rituals, the purpose is to send the passer to heaven. The exact method for being allowed their lacks clarity. The mourners are left not knowing and dwelling.

Analyzing and comparing these two different ritual approaches to death verifies that culture and beliefs shape the practices surrounding death. The differences mainly exist in that the Buddhist religion embraces, more openly, the occurrence of death, as part of life. They believe it is inevitable and unpredictable. My personal experience with the Catholic religion leans heavily towards Welshons (2003) description of our culture. He explains how we "do not want to participate in the process" of death, dying, or bereavement. This is evident in that we spend tons of money on cosmetic surgery, pills that keep us youthful, advancements postponing death, and "professionals" to conduct our funeral ceremonies. Alternatively the Buddhist religion embraces Welshons description of what we perceive as "primitive"; "all of life is seen as preparation for death (p.44)." With that, Welshons urges his reader to "begin to prioritize their lives in the face of that recognition so that each day we are fully alive, fully engaged, and fully loving (p.59)." It is fear in living that correlates with the fear of dying. "To the extent that we fear death we will also fear life, and visa versa (p.59)."

The similarity lies mostly in the attempt to cope with loss and to uphold the beliefs most influencing the family and society. That often these beliefs inhibit the process, does not eliminate what they do for honoring the deceased in a manner that is to help them reach the desire destination of each religion. My Dutch Catholic Family gathered together from many different of our Nations areas, in order to mourn my Grandfather and soon after my Grandmother. They were the current matriarch and patriarch of our family. The place in which their bodies lay for viewing, doubled as a reunion for all of us. At moments we would pause with a sense of guilt that we were being "giddy" at a funeral, and then we agreed that our gathering was always one of our Grandparents hardest and proudest tasks. They had eleven children and about fifty grand and great grandkids. We rejoiced in the life and lives they created. The traditions were old and solid, but even the priest wanted to celebrate the life lived by these two. As it is true that the stigmas attached to death by way of cultural traditions exists, there is also a hint of coping that came through.

The Buddhist religion equally suffers the loss of individuals and copes accordingly. They prepare the person for smooth transition. They embrace life lived and though they find death is inevitable they prepare themselves for the occurrence. It is as if the coping that we begin post- mortem, they practice pre-mortem. The preparation aids in a smooth transition for the survivors as well. Both are culturally driven in their approach to death. However, Welshons offers the most beautiful approach of all, as he explains his thoughts following his mother's death. "The sun is most radiant and most beautiful when it's setting. And though it disappears from view, it never dies. (p. 51)."

References

Adamson, Marilyn (n.d). Connecting With the Divine: Are world religions really all the same? A look at Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, and New Age. Retrieved on November 17, 2007 from http://everystudent.com/features/connecting.html?gclid=CJ24l8j36Y8CFShsGgodpiFADw

Byrne, Pat and Rick, Father Ray (1997-2005). Planning a Catholic Funeral. Retrieved on November 17, 2007 from http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19990301/SCRMNTL/funerals.htm

Hawter, Pende Ven. (1995). Reflections on Death Buddhist Hospices and HIV: DEATH AND DYING IN THE TIBETAN BUDDHIST TRADITION. Retrieved on November 17, 2007 from http://www.buddhanet.net/deathtib.htm

Kearls Guide (n.d.) retrieved on November 17, 2007 from http://www.trinity.edu/~mkearl/death-1.html#cu

Office of Worship (n.d.). Retrieved on November 18,2007 from http://www.icctampa.org/FuneralRites.htm

Welshons, J.E. (2000) Awakening from grief: Finding the road back to joy. Little Falls, NJ: Open Heart Publications

Worden, J. W. (2002). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for mental health practitioners (3rd ed.) New York: Springer Publishing Company.