Rob Lowe vs. Jessica Gibson: Nanny and Employer Face-offs

On April 15, the New York Post reported that yet another star is having a problem with a nanny. This time, Rob Lowe's former nanny, Jessica Gibson, Is accusing the actor of sexual harassment from September 2005 to January 2008.

She is one of three former employees accusing the Lowes of inappropriate behavior towards employees. Rob Lowe and his wife, Sheryl Lowe are involved in lawsuits against all three of these former employees: Gibson, former nanny Laura Boyce, and former chef Peter Clements. The lawsuits the Lowes have initiated involve alleged sexual misconduct of the employees while they were "on duty" as well as drug use among employees during the hours of employment.
With this, there are perhaps, many things that employers and nannies can do in order to live together - in a professional manner. Here, I will offer my own suggestions for keeping the peace.

1. The obvious cardinal rule: Do not -no matter how tempting, beautiful, sexy, etc. - become romantically or intimately involved with your employee or your boss. Do not pursue your employee or boss in such a manner. This only causes problems - regardless of whether you work in an office, or in a private home - when things go south, they can become very awkward and messy.

2. Address one another in a professional manner. Formality goes a long way. Addressing your client as Mr. x or Mrs. x can help you to see your boss as just that.

3. Avoid being overly familiar with one another. Just as you would not regularly hug your boss or employee in the office, do not engage in this familiar form of contact. Unfortunately it is too easy to let boundaries slide. Do not discuss personal lives with one another unless it directly affects the children being cared for.

4. Nannies: Do not bring boyfriends (or girlfriends) home, do not bring drugs into the house. You wouldn't have sex while at an office nor would you smoke marijuana while serving coffee to the public. Conduct yourself in a likewise manner while at work.

5. Employers: DO NOT hire your nanny because she or he is attractive. If you feel an attraction for the person, this may lead to problems down the road - no matter how noble your intentions.

6. Do NOT allow uncomfortable situations to persist for years. Gibson waited for almost three years before calling attention to "inappropriate behavior". Please, please, please use your common sense here. If a situation makes you uncomfortable, nip it in the bud then and there. If it persists, either quit or let the person go and take appropriate actions to follow up upon this decision.

7. Related to number six, do not wait until a small problem becomes a large problem to converse and find solutions. For example, if you and your nanny do not agree on the discipline methods used - discuss this before it gets out of hand rather than after it gets out of hand.

8. Finally, DO maintain an open line of communication when it comes to the job. What sorts of discipline are acceptable to both parties? What behaviors are intolerable? If you discuss your concerns, expectations, and questions up front and honestly, you can help prevent conflicts before they begin.

This list of suggestions is, of course, intended to help people once they've hired/been hired. Before hiring or working for someone, I would strongly suggest checking out all references. Nannies, for you this means talking to previous nannies (if any) of the family you will be working for. Solving problems begins before problems exist: With prevention.