Robbery Foiled at Studio A

Sitting in his cousin's Ostrander home for the summer, Marion resident Zack LaDoucer was calm and collected. This was not the case, however, the day of July 22, 2005 when an intoxicated man tried to gain access to his cousin's home.

"Well I was on the phone with DJ Ritchie (his cousin) and someone was ringing the doorbell." Zack stated, reliving his experience. "I figured it was just someone trying to sell something or maybe needed to use the phone so I didn't answer the door. Then he started trying to open the door that was locked so I put the phone down and ran upstairs to get the .40. I grabbed the gun and popped the loaded clip in and he was coming in the house through the back door. He was walking up the stairs and I saw the glimmer of a knife in his hand so I jumped out and pointed the gun at him and yelled at him you know, 'what are you doing in my house?'. He was dumbfounded and drunk."

Meanwhile after DJ Ritchie got off the phone with Zack he proceeded to call his parents to tell them what was happening. While he ran upstairs to get the gun, the downstairs phone was off the hook making it unable for Zack to call the police at this point.

"So I kept yelling at him because he didn't seem to get the message. All he said was 'Whoa! don't shoot me man!'. So I told him to get the hell out of my house and he did as DJ's parents arrived. He then jumped off the back deck and landed on his face in the yard and proceeded to stumble away."

The police came shortly after and questioned Zack. Still relatively shaken by the recent events he was not much for answers. So the case is still left open.

This occurred at DJ Ritchie Studios: Studio A. It was later found out that the robber was brother of DJ Ritchie Studios: Studio B's owner and it was not the first house he had robbed. He wasn't a conventional robber in the sense that he wasn't looking for money or jewels or electronic equipment. He had gone from house to house robbing homes of their liquor and beer. The incident at Studio A detoured his actions as he most likely urinated in his pants.

The man was with everyone at Studio B and no hard feelings were brought between anyone. No charges were brought against the man from Studio A. He claimed to be too drunk to remember going into the house.

Local superhero, Gout-man, was unavailable at the time of the event as he was visiting the Taj Mahal. (photograph pending)

Several weeks later a song "Fifth Year Clit" was produced depicting the events in short. The following is the lyrical description of the events:

"Ding ding dong its the doorbell instantly I can tell
something' was wrong god know it ain't right
now I know that hes trying' to get in so
I go the the bedroom get the Mac 10

Wait at the top of the stairs till
now that mother f*** is there see
whip out quick with my metal in hand
careful now don't wanna end up dead

he said WHOA don't f** shoot me man
then I seen the glimmer of the knife in his hand
POP POP two to the leg, tied him up with guitar strings
then I sent 5y down to the Pit Crew to collect some things

Clip clip snip snip, the sight of it'll make you sick
you don't wanna f** with me cos' I'm backed up by the DJ Ritchie"