Robert Irvine is Back and Michael Symon is Out, Madonna and Guy Ritchie Are Mum, and Prince William is Peeing on Camera

It's British Invasion time! The Prince William penis story is overshadowed only by Robert Irvine ousting Michael Symon and reclaiming his spot on Dinner Impossible; oh, and Madonna divorced Guy Ritchie for being unreasonable. Sure; pot, meet kettle; kettle, meet pot.

Symon Ousts Irvine But Irvine Trumps Symon

Robert Irvine is known as the original host of the Food Network program Dinner Impossible. In February Irvine also became known as the owner of a Resume Impossible, prompting this writer to muse if -- with Robert Irvine's reputation shot-- even his superior kitchen skills will permit for a comeback.

You might recall that in addition to culinary prowess, Robert Irvine also claimed knighthood, a B.S. degree from the University of Leeds, and an active role in the wedding cake creation for the nuptials of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer.

Food Network dropped Irvine like a hot potato, and instead turned to Michael Symon, one of its Iron Chef participants, and all around up and coming network fixture. After fans launched an all out attack, Food Network ate humble pie and told the AP food editor that they rehired Robert Irvine to once again star in his show Dinner Impossible.

This just goes to show that with a British accent you can sell horse apples and people will gobble them up.

Promising Not To Use Their British Accents are Madonna And Guy Ritchie

Madonna, whose affected British accent has earned the Michigan native quite a few snickers, has divorced Guy Ritchie (who, as a Hertfordshire native, is actually entitled to the British accent). Known to usually let it all hang out - in more ways than one - Madonna is surprisingly insistent on having the former couple stay mum on the details of the divorce.

WCBSTV reports that Guy Ritchie and Madonna received a divorce decree based on the former's "unreasonable behavior." Madonna objects to unreasonable behavior? Who would have thought?

Rounding Out This British Line Up Is Prince William And Flowery Descriptions of His Ahem, Penis

When the news broke that a paparazzo got a shot of Britain's Prince William with his pants down taking a leak after a polo game, the astonishing amounts of descriptive terms used for the body part were a sight to behold. There was talk of the "royal staff," the "peepee," and the "royal phallus."

My favorite is the Post Chronicle's description which combines the "future Monarch's member" with "royal phallus."

As if the queen didn't have enough on her mind, she now has to overhear discussions of her grandson's regal winkle taking a tinkle. Can't wait for those discussions over Christmas supper.

Sources: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/616581/resume_impossible_the_fall_of_food.html; http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081120/ap_en_tv/people_chef_dismissed; http://wcbstv.com/entertainment/madonna.ritchie.divorce.2.870135.html; http://www.postchronicle.com/news/entertainment/tittletattle/article_212187932.shtml