Rock N Roll Nursing Home to Open

America's first rock 'n roll nursing home opened today in Green Valley, Arizona--a notorious retirement community in Baja Arizona.

"Given the demographics of the country," explained Richard Sottleworth, head of the Oldies But Goodies Nursing Home, " it only made sense to cater to the incoming generation of senior citizens."

The traditional nursing home just didn't seem appropriate for people weaned on the Rolling Stones. "There is no way the old type of old folks home is going to work with people playing dominoes and listening to Lawrence Welk," explained Sottleworth. "What works best is to create a familiar environment for our clients."

The Oldies But Goodies Nursing Home will feature 24 hour rock music, and medicinal marijuana. "Actually, the next generation of senior citizens is going to be a lot easier to deal with," Sottleworth explained, "because we can really dope them up and they'll love it."

The Oldies But Goodies Nursing Home Company plans a national chain of rock-oriented care facilities. "We are trying to get Dick Clark or Mick Jagger to do promos for us, but so far no luck," added Sottleworth. "But, there's plenty of aging rockers out there, so someone will need the money," he added.

In addition to round-the-clock dope, the new nursing home will offer electric guitars for residents. "They're all deaf, anyway," Sottleworth commented.

(Note: This article was first published on my web site The Frumious Bandersnatch http://www.bandersnatch.com)

Copyright 2001-2009 by Hugh A. Holub