Rock and Roll Power Trios: The Ultimate Grudge Match

Rock and Roll Power Trios Rock and roll is a group effort. The best bands combine anywhere from three to six or seven instruments to make the glorious cacophany known as rock. But it takes real guts to do this with only three people. None of that lame 'singer' stuff, at least one person has to play and sing at the same time. It also puts pressure on the guitarist, because they don't have a rhythm section to work with, so its all on them. Notable absences include Nirvana and Josie and the Pussycats. One isn't included because they are a bunch of whiny bitches, and the other is a fake band from a comic book.

I have organized this like a tournament, because, well, I thought it would be cool. I will put a list of essential songs and albums of the band that 'loses' after their 'match'. It is a best of five sort of thing, with guitar, drums, bass coming first. If necessary, I will look at singing, and then songwriting.

Round One: Quarterfinals

The Jimi Hendrix Experience vs. The James Gang

Guitars: Jimi Hendrix vs. Joe Walsh
Joe Walsh would leave The James Gang to join the Eagles, and help them achieve multiplatinum success with Hotel California. While he is an awesome guitarist, he doesn't have a chance against Hendrix. The things that Walsh is best at, talk-box solos, can't compete with Jimi's mastery of the wah pedal.
Winner: Jimi Hendrix

Bass: Noel Redding vs. Tom Kriss
Well, I don't know that much about Tom Kriss. I tried to do some research, but couldn't find much. He is a damn good bass player, but he can't compete with the seasoned studio bass master Noel Redding.
Winner: Noel Redding

Drums: Mitch Mitchell vs. Jim Fox
Kind of the same thing here. Jim Fox can lay down the funky beat like no other, but Mitch Mitchell is part of that crazy group of drummers in the 70's that include John Bonham and Keith Moon. While he wouldn't beat those two, he wins here.
Winner: Mitch Mitchell

Winner: The Jimi Hendrix Experience, 3-0

James Gang Essential songs: Collage, Funk #48, Walk Away
James Gang Essential Albums: Yer Album, James Gang Rides Again

Cream vs. Grand Funk Railroad

Guitars: Eric Clapton vs. Mark Farner
Mark Farner can play a mean rock guitar, and also very melodic. He is pretty flexible, and also sings for the band. This round is just about guitar playing though, and Eric Clapton easily beats him in sheer ability.
Winner: Eric Clapton

Bass: Jack Bruce vs. Mel Schacher
While Mel Schacher (pronounced Shocker) lays down some great bass lines, particularly in 'Aimless Lady', and 'Closer to Home', there is no competeing with the third major bass virtuoso of the modern rock era (the first two being Paul McCartney and John Entwistle).
Winner: Jack Bruce

Drums: Ginger Baker vs. Don Brewer
While Ginger Baker is a fine rock drummer, he is mare jazz based. This fit in well with Bruce's classical leanings and Clapton's blues, but he doesn't use a simple rock beat when it is necessary, and for this, this round goes to Don Brewer, possibly the best American rock and roll drummer out there.
Winner: Don Brewer

Singing: Jack Bruce vs. Mark Farner
Cream was never based around vocals. As the world's first supergroup, they were formed to show a musical tour de force, but not knock anyone's ears off with great rock vocals. Farner on the other hand can belt it out with the best of them, as shown on 'Sins A Good Man's Brother', or be tender, as shown on 'Mean Mistreater'.
Winner: Mark Farner

Songwriting: While Cream had a number of great songs, the consistency of their albums isn't so hot. They have some great songs, but also a lot of bad ones. Grand Funk on the other hand, rocked out very consistently throughout all their years together. What this means is that we have our first upset of the day.

Winner: Grand Funk Railroad 3-2

Cream Essential Songs: White Room, Tales of Brave Ulysses, Toad
Cream Essential Albums: Fresh Cream, Disareli Gears

Rush vs. The Police

Guitar: Alex Lifeson vs. Andy Summers
Andy Summers is a great guitar player, but too session-tastic. He doesn't solo or improv nearly as well as Alex Lifeson. Plus, when was the last time that Andy Summers got the shit beat out of him by cops in New Orleans? That's rock and roll.
Winner: Alex Lifeson

Bass: Geddy Lee vs. Sting
While Sting may be an arrogant son of a bitch, he can lay down a mean bass line. Geddy Lee is okay, but Sting really takes the song away with his line, playing lead to Andy Summers' rhythm quite a bit.
Winner: Sting

Drums: Neil Peart vs. Stweart Copeland
What an epic struggle. Neil Peart, the master of technique vs. Stweart Copeland, the master of the groove. I feel really bad making a decision on this one, but I personally enjoy listening to Stewart Copeland more, so he wins.
Winner: Stewart Copeland

Singing: Geddy Lee vs. Sting
Two very high pitched singers. Sting goes high to get the white reggae sound (or is that Reggatta de Blanc?)while Geddy Lee just hasn't hit puberty yet (or was castrated to preserve his fourteen year old choirboy, who knows). Rush's biggest weakness has now bit them in the ass.
Winner: Sting

Winner: The Police, 3-1

Essential Rush Songs: 2112 Overture, Roll the Bones, Limelight
Essential Rush Albums: 2112, A Farewell to Kings

ZZ Top vs. Gov't Mule

Guitar: Billy Gibbons vs. Warren Haynes
What a way to start. Billy Gibbons with his deep fried country guitar licks and guitars made of car engine parts, or Warren Haynes who replced Dickey Betts in the Allman Bros and Jerry Garcia in The Dead (in guitar playing only, of course). A close one, but I Haynes is gonna take it on the strength of his solos on "Soulshine" and "Cortez the Killer".
Winner: Warren Haynes

Bass: Dusty Hill vs. Allen Woody
While the Bass slot in Gov't Mule has been filled with Andy Hess (as well as about every single bass player worth his salt on the two Deep End CD's), Woody was the only bass player while they were a trio. In addition to Hess, they added a keyboard player, giving them four members. Allen Woody was a great player, also playing with the Allman Bros, but when it comes to Rock and Roll, Dusty Hill's stomping bass playing is tops. Plus its pretty hardcore to keep touring and recording while you've got the Hep C.
Winner: Dusty Hill

Drums: Frank Beard vs. Matt Abts
Matt Abts is a great drummer, known for his improvisation, and also playing with the Allman Bros (broken record, I know). With the possible exception of Phil Rudd of AC/DC, Beard lays down the most solid beat in the business. Also, in a band known for their long beards, Frank Beard is the only member of ZZ Top without a beard. If that doesn't clean your irony clock, then nothing will.
WInner: Frank Beard

Singing: Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill vs. Warren Haynes
Warren Haynes easily takes on the double team of Gibbons and Hill with his raspy "voice of a thousand cigarrettes". He also sounds better live, which is a rarity is today's Pro-Tooltastic music world.
Winner: Warren Haynes

Songwriting:
So here we are. The winner in this case would be ZZ Top. They can write a rockin' three minute tune, and while they aren't the jam band that Gov't Mule is, they are no slouches either.
Winner: ZZ Top

ZZ Top wins 3-2.

Essential Gov't Mule Albums: The Deep End v.1+2, Live...With A Little Help From Our Friends
Essential Gov't Mule Songs: Soulshine, Driving Rain

The madness continues. We've lost some good bands, but four great ones still survive. Will Jimi Hendrix's wah-pedal heroics carry him to the win? Or will Stewart Copeland's mastery of the hi-hat prove to be the key? Can ZZ Top ride their sweet beards and electrified blues to the championship? Or will the wild, shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner, the bong rattling bass of Mel Shacher, and the competant drum work of Don Brewer take them in for the upset? Will the readers get tired of my incessant sports innuendo, or are they laughing themselves silly at my comedic brilliance? Only time will tell. Don't let me stop you though, continue...

Semi-Finals

The Police vs. The Jimi Hendrix Experience

Guitar: Andy Summers vs. Jimi Hendrix
Well, this seems to be a no-brainer. Andy Summers lost to Alex Lifeson, and Alex Lifeson would lose to Jimi Hendrix. Ergo..
Winner: Jimi Hendrix

Bass: Sting vs. Noel Redding
The socialist bass player who would later go to compose the masterpiece 'Desert Rose' (by the way, I'm being sarcastic) doesn't stand a chance against the seasoned pro Noel Redding. While Sting was learning his first Reggae bass line, Redding was cutting his teeth starting in 1960 with bands that would eventually lead him to manager/fellow bass player Chas Chandler of the Animals, and then to Hendrix.
Winner: Noel Redding

Drums: Stewart Copeland vs. Mitch Mitchell
The aforementioned mastery of the hi-hat, and the gloriously minimalist use of the snare drum are more than enough to propel Copeland over Mitchell. He had a good run though.
Winner: Stewart Copeland

Singing: Sting vs. Jimi Hendrix
A toss up. Hendrix has a great, deep voice, but he'd be the first to say there were many better singers. While this does nothing to take away from his songwriting (much like Bob Dylan, who has a great voice, albeit not a conventionally great one), this round has to go to Sting, who used his voice exactly the way it needed to be used. Also, on the rare times Stewart Copeland sang for the Police, it was absolutely glorious (listen to 'Any Other Day' off of Reggatta de Blanc if you don't believe me). One can't say the same for Redding's occasional forays into the lead vocal territory.
Winner: Sting

Songwriting:
Well, it is only apporpriate that the semi-finals are much closer than the quarters. While the Experience wrote some great songs, their main fuiction was the provide a backdrop to the gloriousness of one James Marshall Hendrix. The Police wrote some great songs, and in much greater variety than their opponents.
Winner: The Police

The Police win 3-2

Essential Jimi Hendrix Experience songs: Fire, Foxy Lady, Spanish Castle Magic, Castles Made of Sand, Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)
Essential Jimi Hendrix Experience Albums: Are You Experienced?, Axis: Bold As Love

Grand Funk Railroad vs. ZZ Top

Guitar: Mark Farner vs. Billy Gibbons
Mark Farner sure has some bad luck. First he goes against Eric Clapton, then Billy Gibbons. As awesome as Farner is, he can't compete with shrieking blues played on an engine parts guitar. That's a lesson for the kids out there: when in doubt, make your instruments out of cool shit.
Winner: Billy Gibbons

Bass: Mel Shacher vs. Dusty Hill
The stomping bass lines of Dusty Hill come close to being as cool as Shacher's. Close, but not enough. 'Aimless Lady' beats 'TV Dinners', at least as far as bass lines are concerned, and those are my two favorite bass lines by those two.
Winner: Mel Shacher

Drums: Don Brewer vs. Frank Beard
I mentioned that both of these are two of the the best American Rock Drummers out there. I stand by that. Both could lay down a rockin' beat that you could set your watch to. But the incredible irony of Frank Beard's name will take it, simply because I do love it so.
Winner: Frank Beard

Singing: Mark Farner vs. Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill
Once again, the double team of Gibbons and Hill cannot compete with what I call "The American Robert Plant". Don't believe me? Listen to 'Sin's A Good Man's Brother'. And he does it while playing some of the sickest rock guitar this side of Blue Oyster Cult's Buck Dharma.
Winner: Mark Farner

Songwriting: This is a tough one. While both were masters of the 3-5 minute rocker, both could also occasionally stretch into a longer jam, and still keep the song together. Grand Funk did this more consistently in my opinion, especially with 'I'm Your Captain' so I'll see you in the finals. Winner: Grand Funk Railroad

Grand Funk Railroad wins 3-2. Essential ZZ Top Songs: Legs, Sharp Dressed Man, TV Dinners, Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers, Velcro Fly
Essential ZZ Top Albums: Eliminator, Tres Hombres

It's been a long, strange trip, but we have arrived. Only Grand Funk Railroad and The Police remain. Six men, two groups, one winner. This round will be a bit different, with the best 4 of 7 taking the title of Greatest Power Trio in Rock and Roll. In addition to guitar, bass, drums, singing, songwriting, there will be a categeory of best song vs. best song, and if it comes down to it, the best band name. Let the chaos begin.

Finals:

Grand Funk Railroad vs. The Police

Guitar: Andy Summers vs. Mark Farner Andy Summers just can't get a break. He has lost every match he's been in and this is no exception. His guitar playing, while very proficient, just isn't that exciting. And if there's one thing that Lady Rock and Roll loves, it's excitement.
Winner: Mark Farner

Bass: Sting vs. Mel Shacher
Another great match up. While Sting can groove a little bit more, Shacher definetly locks up better with his drummer, to make a more solid rhythm section. Which leads us to the debate, what is more important for bass playing, a groove, or as part of the whole, the whole being the rhythm section. Sorry to all of you Flea fans out there, but the bass works best as part of the rhythm section. If you can groove it (which Shacher does) all the better.
Winner: Mel Shacher

Drums: Don Brewer vs. Stewart Copeland
Not enough can be said about the importance of a solid backbeat. Don Brewer is among the best in the business, but in this case, Copeland is the business. I don't think there's many drummers out there that would beat him in a head to head matchup, and certainly not in the power trio category. Score another for the man who defeated Neil Peart in Round 1, which gives him a clean sweep.
Winner: Stewart Copeland

Singing: Mark Farner vs. Sting
There has been no lack of comments about Sting's high voice, but until now, it really never hurt his band. Until now. Mark Farner shreds sting, since he can at least hit an occasional bass note with his voice, something Sting is either unable or unwilling to do.
Winner: Mark Farner

Songwriting:
While Grand Funk Railroad can write a variety of songs, they aren't as consistent as the Police. That being said, the Police released 5 albums. On their first two, the good song to total song ratio is an astounding 67%. This declined greatly for their last three albums, only a 27%. Total, they combine to a total ratio of 43% of the Police's songs were good (If you've got a problem with these numbers let me know, I'd be happy to explain them. It's science.) This is a hard number to match, and though Grand Funk makes a valiant effort, but they cannot sustain such a ratio throughout their eleven albums. In this case, being more prolific hurts them in the long run.
Winner: The Police

We're really down to the wire now. In case you lost count, Grand Funk leads 3-2. But now we get into our special categories. Can the Police make a comback> Or will Grand Funk pull it out and make an incredible statement to the world, vanquishing many so called 'better' power trios?

Best song vs. best song: Sin's a Good Man's Brother (Grand Funk) vs. Murder by Numbers (The Police)
While this can be up to debate, these are the best songs to me, and I'm the one writing. But, they really are the best songs by the groups. Sin's a good man's brother opens up the classic album Closer to Home. It's got a great arrangement, starting with an acoustic, before coming in hard and heavy with the rock. The lyrics are of rebellion which is always rock and roll, and the solo is absolutely disgusting (I mean that in the ironic sense, disgustingly awesome). Murder By Numbers on the other has all of the things that make the Police great: jaw dropping drums, classy, subtle guitar, good lyrics. Though it is on a statistically poor album (Synchronicity), it is the last song on the last Police album, and its a great note to go out on. More importantly, it doesn't contain what ruins many Police songs, too much Sting. Both also have intriguing titles. Sin's a Good man's Brother (with it's questionable grammar in the title I might add) is a great song, but it's not good enough to give Grand Funk the win.
Winner: Murder By Numbers, The Police

NOTE: If you enjoy the suspense, scroll slowly, I've got a cool reveal coming up.

Best Band Name:
It all comes down to this. A simple decision made by the group while rehearsing, now is all that stands between one group and the coveted title of Best Power Trio. First, a word on the importance of names. A good band name is absolutely everything. The Beatles for instance. Their name showed at once the kind of music played (what was then known as merseybeat,a term for British pop that emerged in certain county), had a throwback to groups they idolized (The Crickets, Buddy Holly's band), and it is a pretty nifty use of wordplay if I do say so myself. With a name as simple yet complex as that, is it any oneder that the Beatles were the best group ever? So let's see which of these two bands passes this final test of musicianship.

Grand Funk Railroad. A little long, but it has several necessary elements. 'Grand' is good. It implies something large scale. Rock is something that is all about large scale. Funk. Good. Funk is good. If this were science class, the equation for funk would be this:
(F)unk = Groove + Soul, both of which are very necessary in Rock, nay, in all good music. So far, so good. 2 for 2 on the name. Then, railroad. Implies a bit of luxury, but also pride in hard work. Building the road across America. The railroad is very much a part of American tradition, and nostalgia for the golden ages is always a plus. Good name choice with Grand Funk Railroad. Brings to mind some powerful images.

The Police. Well, I have nothing against the police. I think they are necessary to keeping the social order, and very courageous men and women with more bravery than I could hope to have. But as anyone who is part of my lifestyle will tell you, the police aren't always a welcome sight. Rarely do good things happen when the police are involved. If anyone reading this has a pleasent memory about the cops, do tell. I sure don't have many. More importantly, when taken in a non-musical context, the phrase 'the police' doesn't bring to mind three bleached blonde guys, one with a really high voice and playing a bass, singing about prostitues. As if that wasn't bad enough, the Police Box Set (which you should get, it's absolutely essential) is the navy blue of an officer's uniform, which a big silver badge procalming the title. Yowzas. It was quite a match, but in the end there is no question, no bad refs to blame on this one. The Winner of

The Best Power Trio in Rock and Roll

is

Grand Funk Railroad!!!

Well, it was fun. We shared some laughs, shed a few tears, and all became a little better people. Hope you enjoyed.