Rock Throwing Proves Tiresome for Palestinians

In the Palestinian areas of the Middle East, as the tensions rise, so does the weight of the rocks. As the fighting rages on, some middle eastern residents are simply becoming exhausted from centuries of hurling stone weapons at their sworn enemy.

Many Palestinians have reportedly been debating the use of catapults as a way to rest their weary bodies, yet still accomplish their goal of raining earthen terror on the infidels. However, they lack the basic skills and strength needed to build one of these battle tested war fighting tools.

Hoping to assist themselves logistically, Gaza militants have implemented a rock throwing schedule to aid them in not tiring so quickly. Similar to troop rotations, these schedule's allow each rock thrower to get his or her needed rest before picking up another earthen projectile.

Of the 36 men found lying in the streets of Gaza, only one had enough energy for a comment. He exhaustedly told us, "do........you.........have...........any.........more.............rocks?" Apparently, even in this amazingly rock filled land, another concern for the Palestinian militants is running out of ammunition.

After decades upon decades of fighting, rocks are becoming so scarce that non-militant Gaza residents are reportedly exchanging them for rice and donkeys, where available.

"I think we are going to have to start throwing rusty bullets or frying pans," said one militant we spoke with who wished to remain anonymous. "Aimed just the right way, a rusty bullet could certainly leave a bruise. And a frying pan, yes, a frying pan! LALALALALALALA!!!!!" he continued.

While some militants agree with the anonymous man's way of thinking, others are not so sure. "Rusty bullets? Maybe. But frying pans are just as heavy as rocks. Screw that. LALALALALALALA!!!!" said another militant who wished to be identified only as "Bucky".

In the midst of all this exhausting fighting, one man is hoping to cash in on the lack of rocks and 'weight' of the issue. Gaza resident Hajahemana Klamanahpdyanz is working on an invention called "Sand Balls".

"Sand Balls" are made using a very light, easy to carry syrup, which when mixed with sand creates, according to the inventor, "one mean f-ing snow ball".

Hajahemana says that militants could carry the light weight packets everywhere they go and when they needed to make a rock they would simply pick up a hand full of sand, mix it with the syrup, and throw the resulting "Sand Ball" at their enemy. While the balls have not been proven to kill a person, they have been proven to temporarily blind someone long enough to run them over with a donkey.

Sand Balls are also lighter than rocks, and while the Gaza area may be running out of stones, "sand is sure to be around for a much longer period of time" said Hajahemana.

Upon hearing the news of this new invention, the 36 Gaza militants immediately stood up, yelled LALALALALALALALALALA!!!!!, burnt 5 American flags, and rushed to kiss Mr. Hajahemana Klamanahpdyanz for saving both their spirits and their backs.