Rockin' Old Farts

"Jerry, stop dancing to the elevator music. We're on our way to discuss a merger. These people need to believe that we're serious about their proposal."

"You know, Tom, you've always been a tight ass. I'm tired of all this corporate nonsense. It's don't do this, don't do that. I quit."

You're nuts. You're 50, have a wife, three kids and two dogs that depend on you. Now straighten your tie and get ready to negotiate."

"No, it's past time I follow my dream. I'm going to get the band together and hit the road."

Tom shook his head as Jerry dumped the contents of his briefcase onto the elevator floor and danced down the hallway. Bending to pick up the mess, Tom muttered, "Jerry's nuts. He's going to crash and burn. Quitting like this, he won't even get severance pay." He quickly reviewed the negotiation points in his head and secretly envied Jerry's determination.

Meanwhile Jerry cleaned out his desk and drove his minivan home. "May, I've quit my job. I'm going to get the band back together and hit the road."

"What's wrong with you? Did you get hit on the head?"

"Yes, I was hit on the head with reality. If I don't follow my dream now, I never will."

Raising her head to the ceiling, May muttered, "God, talk some sense into this idiot."

Jerry called his college friends and asked them to meet at his house at 8 p.m. After a silent supper Jerry set out chips and made sure the beer was cold. As each of Jerry's four friends arrived, they asked what the excitement was about. "Not yet. I'll tell you when all of you are here," he said.

By 8:15 everyone was there: Steve, in his softball uniform; Tony, still in his suit with his tie hanging loose; Gil was wearing his usual Dockers and polo shirt; and Ed strode in wearing his sweats and dirty sneakers.

"Let's get started," Steve said, "I need to get home and wash off this home plate dirt."

"Yeah," Tony added, "My wife is really pissed that I'm getting home late - again."

"Okay. Here's the deal. Today I quit my job to pursue my lifetime dream of performing. I'm asking you to quit your jobs so we can get the band going again."

"Are you out of your mind?" Gil shouted. "We have responsibilities - and, we're old!"

"The Rolling Stones are older than we are. Paul McCartney is older. Look at Tony Bennett. He must be 105 and the girls are still swooning for him."

"Jerry has a point," Ed said to the group. "We're 50. It's now or never. Let's do it."

"Okay, when?" Tony asked.

"Tomorrow at 10, here in my garage, bring your instruments."

"This rehearsal was great, guys. A couple more and we'll be ready to hit the road. I'll call a friend who knows an agent. He'll set up our gigs and handle the money."

"The money?" Tony asked. "I put all my assets in my wife's name so when we go broke no one can take the house."

"Just wait. You'll see. Hey, I have a great idea. Let's not pretend to be young. Let's go with who we are."

Two weeks later the Rockin' Old Farts, with Jerry as lead singer, played the county fair. Next came a pre-game show for the local AA baseball championship. Soon they were playing in neighboring cities and wowing the crowds. Middle aged women and even 20-somethings were filling the seats.

A recording contract followed with a video that included motorcycles and gyrating young women. The video made the MTV top ten. Now they were playing in Cleveland, Memphis, New Orleans. Each show was a sell-out. Ticket prices went higher and higher.

Then came Chicago, Los Angeles and the coup de gras, Madison Square Garden. In foot high letters across the marquee "Rockin' Old Farts tonight at 8 p.m. Sold out performance."

The men were now wearing sequin suits and their hair had grown down to their eyes. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Madison Square Garden is proud to present "Rockin' Old Farts with lead singer Jerry."

"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" the crowd chanted.

Ding!

"Jerry, we've reached out floor.