Rolodexing: Dealing with Those 2AM Phone Calls

Ever get a call from someone who you haven't heard from in awhile? The call may come late one night while you're asleep, or on some rainy weekend day. You think, "I wonder why this person is calling me now." You have some polite conversation, and you may ask, "So how have you been?" Well you have opened the can of worms. Things have gotten bad in this person's life and your name came up in their Rolodex.

I have just coined a new term. I'm a trend setter so I am allowed to do that. It may be a term that other people already use, but in my world, I made it up.

Before I explain Rolodexing, I'll explain what may cause one to Rolodex.

You're newly single.
Your significant other is out of town.
Your significant other has angered you.
You have been single for awhile and it's getting on your nerves.
Your friends are marrying and you're sad because you're alone.
You want to vent to someone who might still care.
Your close, more immediate friends have grown tired of your complaining.
You just realized you aren't as attractive as you thought you were.
You just realized being attractive isn't good enough.
Your standards have been lowered for some reason.
You've slipped into a depression.

I could go on, but I'm sure you get the idea by now...
Any variation of this sort of thing has happened, and now you feel that you need to reach out to someone. Who? Well, if this were some normal issue, you'd call up your significant other or your close friend(s). However, things have gotten bad, and desperate times call for desperate measures! Break out your Rolodex!

Scroll through that Rolodex to find the last person who seemed to remotely care about you and your problems. This could be your recent Ex. It may be an Ex from a long time ago. It can be an old friend that you have neglected to call, or your best friend from back when you knew who your "real friends were!" It could be that platonic friend of the opposite sex who you strung along for awhile. If things have gotten extremely bad, it may even be someone you haven't spoken to since High School or College!

Definition:
Rolodexing, means scrolling backwards chronologically, contacting people that may be willing to help you achieve whatever goal you have.

Example:
Maybe you just need to vent or maybe you're in need of companionship. First, you called your Ex-boyfriend. He's married? Sigh. Okay, call the boyfriend that you cheated on. He doesn't care about your problems?!! Well, that hurts. Now what?... Try calling the guy that you used to date that one summer after High School. He doesn't even remember you! Well you are quickly running out of names in your Rolodex.

You may want to consider E-Stalking.

How To E-Stalk:
1. Search a social networking site (MySpace, Facebook, etc) for their profile.
2. Send them a harmless message just saying, "Hey we haven't talked in awhile. How are you?"
3. Add them as a friend.
4. Browse their profile to find out if they are single.
5. If single, make note of interests and hobbies to use later as talking points.
6. Establish an online dialogue through messaging or wall posts.
7. Say, "I think I lost your number. Can I have it again?"
8. Send late night text messages when you think they will be the loneliest, and ask "What's up?"
9. Work up nerve.
10. Ask them to hang out or get a drink some time.

The further you Rolodex back, the more risks you are taking. There may be no hope of reconnecting. However, with the assistance of the Internet and Text Messaging, you can attempt to reconnect without ever having to hear them say "Who is this and why are they talking to me?"

Solutions:
If you're the person that is Rolodexing, consider stopping. You are probably making yourself appear desperate. Just try to get over whatever put you in this mood and move on. If you insist on going forward, follow the How To outlined above.

If you're the victim of Rolodexing, enjoy it. Someone from your past who did not care enough to stay in contact with you has recently gotten so desperate that they are reaching out to you. You are now important to them in some way. You can either be gracious and help them out, or be malicious and toy with them. After all, they need you so you can probably get away with a lot.