Romance and Marriage

If there was a manual for what women really desire, it would probably surprise most men. At the top of the list would be a need for good communication. At times, it seems that women and men are speaking foreign languages to each other (you know, that Mars and Venus thing.) But women really need to be listened to. We don't want you to solve our problems; we just wish you would be more empathetic. Men are, by nature, fixers. But in most cases, we aren't asking for a solution, and we will often be angry if you provide one. Even an occasional "Bless your heart" or "You poor thing" will go a long way. Tell us you understand how we are feeling (even if you really don't) and we will be devoted forever.

Sometimes we just need to be held. We find so much strength in a good hug. Hugging should not always be a prelude to sex. However, if you are sensitive to our need for no strings attached cuddling, you will probably find, that when the time is right, we will respond eagerly.

Do you want to know what we consider really sexy? Helping us with the housework! There is nothing sexier to me than a man with a dish rag or a vacuum cleaner in his hands. Seriously, women are wired differently. We often feel overwhelmed by all the different roles we play. If you want us to respond genuinely to your advances, then help us around the house. Even a small gesture can win you lots of points. (Whenever I cook, my husband does the dishes. He feels that if I spend all that time cooking the meal, the least he can do, is help with the cleanup.)

Try to be on time, and if you can't be on time, just call and let us know. There is nothing more frustrating than waiting. Anything over 10 minutes late, requires a call of explanation. We consider lateness passive aggressive behavior. Are you trying to get even with us for something? Or are you saying that we aren't important enough to be a priority in your life? If you wouldn't keep a client waiting, please don't keep us waiting.

Surprise us! If a relationship has lasted many years, quite often, both parties quit trying to think of new ideas to add a little sparkle. Women love surprises and the unexpected! Tell us to pack a suitcase, but don't tell us where we're going. Rent a local motel room, and have candles and flowers waiting for us there. Plan an evening out, completely on your own, like you did when we were dating. All that we require is that we know how to dress (casual or dressy.) Surprise us with small wrapped gifts now and then, and roses will never be declined. These things show us that we are still on your mind throughout the day. At Christmas, fill a stocking for us with things you know we love. They don't have to be expensive items, just thoughtful. In the summer, take us on a picnic by a lake to watch the sunset.

Call us just to say, "I love you". Email us with a flirty comment and a wink. Dedicate a song to us on our favorite radio station, or secretly tell the band to play our song, when we go out.

Be polite. You may think that manners have gone out of style, but women want to be treated respectfully. Open the car door for us, pull out the chair at the restaurant, help us with our coat, bring the car to the door, etc.

Notice us. After being together for awhile, it is easy to take each other for granted. Women spend a lot of time on their hair, makeup and wardrobe. If you like what we're wearing, compliment us. (If you don't, be quiet.) We feel very disappointed when you don't say anything about our appearance. Every woman loves to hear "You're beautiful!"

Be romantic. No woman wants to jump into the arms of an unshaven man in an undershirt or his pajamas. Wear our favorite shirt. Splash on a dreamy cologne. Occasionally, dress up in a suit, and take us out for dinner. The ladies at the office always see you looking handsome, but far too often, the moment you hit the door at home, you're into an old ratty T-shirt. Romance is playful. Dance with us in the dining room, put your arm around us on the back porch, hold our hand at the movies, give us kitchen kisses on the neck while we cook, tickle us as we pass by, and kiss our hand now and then. Chivalry is not dead; it is only sleeping. Awaken it!

If we're watching a DVD, you make the popcorn sometimes. Serve us takeout on an old fashioned bed tray, or hot chocolate with marshmallows. Turn down the bed, plump the pillows, light a candle, turn on the music. (Consider it foreplay, because it is!)

It takes effort to start a relationship, and effort to maintain it. You will be amazed at how we will respond to the smallest attempts to be creative, attentive, loving, caring, polite, and most of all, romantic. Can I say that word enough? Most women are romantic at heart, and will melt when you use a little imagination.