Romance and the Possibility of Violence

One of the most exciting moments in one's life is when one is given parental consent to date. Usually, teens who go out on dates for the first time imagine having fun without their parents watching over their shoulders. What parents and even the teens themselves do not know however is that in the world of modern dating, fun and romance are not the only element present: violence may just as well be, too.

Admittedly, there is no cause for paranoia because not all dating relationships involve violence. It is simply enough that both parents and teens know that it is a reality and that it can be stopped before emotional attachments become too strong to break.

Although both males and females may become victims of dating violence, more females, particularly teen females, become victims of violence than males. This is because teenage girls who have started dating only recently are so inexperienced about relationships and may tend to harbor more romantic notions about love and dating. Some even mistakenly believe that when a boyfriend flies into a jealous rage, it is romantic and sweet. Although boys may not immediately show violence, they may do so gradually and when the relationship deepens, girls may find it difficult to break free because of their emotional attachment even if they are being battered.

Just like girls, boys may also have misguided notions about relationships which may contribute to their developing a tendency to batter their girlfriends. Even in today's society it is normal to have the typical male macho stereotype and they may believe that one way of showing how manly they are is if they beat their girls to submission. They should own and control their girlfriends; otherwise their peers may look at them as sissies. Somehow it is important for males to prove to the world and to themselves that they are the boss.

Parents may wonder why dating violence is not apparent if it is a reality. What parents should remember is that adolescents is the stage when teens may want to begin striking out on their own, making decisions without having to be told what to do every time. Teen girls may believe that they can handle their problems on their own. Some teens may also hesitate to approach someone if they have already been previously warned about a person they are dating.

What victims of dating violence should remember however is that it is of the utmost importance to tell their parents or trusted elders what's going on so that they can be given the proper help to break free from an abusive relationship. It may also help for girls to remember that they have rights as women and as human beings. They should know that just because they are females, doesn't mean that they are the lesser part of the equation. Girls have the right to say no when a boy asks for something they do not wish to give or participate in. Most importantly, girls should not forget that there are many fish in the sea. They don't have to settle for less than the genuine respect and love that they deserve.