Romeo Changed My Life

Romeo came into my life and just took it over. Changed me completely - who I was, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do with my life.

My original goal for my grown up self was to become a professional golfer. Heck, who wouldn't want to be a professional golfer, traveling all over the world, getting paid to play golf, be outside, see some of the world's most beautiful places on earth manicured to perfection, stay in nice hotels where someone else makes the bed. I knew that it would take a lot of work; I would have to spend many hours outside on the course, PLAYING golf, taking instructions, practicing. Sounded like a good time to me.

Somewhere along the way I met my husband. We got married and grew our family. Luckily my husband is also a golfer, so we played a lot. We planned our vacations at golf resorts, bought what we thought would be our retirement home in a golf community in Palm Desert, and played as often as possible. I took a break from playing only when I was too big from being pregnant. When my daughter turned 3, I gave her a set of clubs, which she immediately set out to beat the dog or her brothers with.

The turning point came when our baby turned 3 and we took her to the petting zoo, and let her sit on the pony. Then we let her take a ride on the pony, where she was buckled in and a parent or handler walks the pony in a large circle. When she was 4 she moved up to the trotters. She was still buckled in, but now was holding the reins and going a little faster.

When she turned 5, she announced that she wanted to learn to ride "without a seatbelt". As fate would have it, we have some friends who's daughter was taking Hunter Jumper lessons at a barn that again as fate would have it was just down the street from us - seriously, less than 2 miles from my house - which was a little out of place considering we lived in the suburbs of the cement jungle known as Los Angeles County. This barn/stable had been in the same location for about 40 years, and even though I had lived in the area for almost 3 years, I didn't know it was there.

Without an ounce of knowledge or education we took our little girl down to the stable to check out their riding programs. Because of her age, she had to be evaluated - would she be brave enough, did she have the strength, the attention span to ride? Well of course she did. You've never seen a child smile so big as when they are truly riding a horse.

And right then and there my life changed forever.

She began taking lessons 3 days a week, I became her groom. Within a few months we were leasing a horse for her to ride so she'd be on the same horse every time. With this lease came the added responsibility to get the horse out on non-riding days for exercise. Beach Boy, the 26 year old Conamare/Quarter Horse mix was the perfect match for our level - Beginner didn't describe us. If I had to compare all the teachers I've had over this experience so far, Beach Boy taught us the most without an ounce of attitude, only tons of love and affection. My groom duties grew to include going by on almost a daily basis to take care of Beach Boy.

Looking back on it I know now that I was being converted. To the Church of The Horse.

My husband wanted to take riding lessons, and he decided that it would be best for him to buy his own horse to do this. He set out in search of the perfect horse for him, asking friends who owned horses, people at the stables, searching the internet. He decided that a Tennessee Walking Horse would be a good trail horse for him, and without an ounce of actual ownership knowledge or experience, we went to "look" one day.

When we saw Lenny, he looked good. He looked good when the owner jumped up on him and they rode around the arena. He even behaved when my husband got up on him and rode around in the sellers' arena. The vet said he looked good. Without looking at another horse, we paid for Lenny and he was delivered into our lives.

Lives that changed instantly. Instead of being able to sleep in until 7am, we woke at 5 to be the out at the barn at 6 so that we could take care of Lenny before work. In 60 minutes we would clean the stall, exercise and groom the horse on days that my husband had to work. On his days off we would sleep in till 6, to excited to stay home. I got the chore of getting the horse out of the stall and working with him, the stall cleaning and grooming went to my other half. I didn't ride, but I did lose a lot of weight, all that walking!

Six months later we were informed by the instructor that it was time for us to get serious about our 6 year olds riding career, it was time for her to have her own horse. Because she was so young, and so short, we decided a pony would be a wiser purchase - something she could tack herself. We looked at ponies for weeks before finding Skittles. One morning before my kindergartner had to be at school, we drove down to another stable to have a test ride. A pony, for a kindergartner? What was I thinking?

It was one of those mornings when the deep blue southern California sky is the perfect back drop to a sun the color of a yellow crayon and is peaking through black rain clouds. Every so often it would rain huge tear drops that would catch in the sunlight and twinkle like diamonds falling from the sky. When they started a slow canter around the arena, huge drops once again began to fall and it was one of those magical moments. Taking their first perfect jump together, the smile on her face - and I swear on his too - said it all. She had found her horse. Skittles came home a few days later.

With two horses I was now spending most of my free time at the barn. I enjoyed getting them out, putting them out to run around, giving them baths. I hadn't thought of my golf clubs in months. I was enjoying myself getting dirty, getting braver, learning more and more about something I knew so little about, myself included. A little while longer and I started thinking that maybe it was my turn for a horse.

Having now been around horses for a almost a year, I had learned so much about them; their care, and their personalities. I knew I wanted something small, something I could get on and off of easily. Also, the horse would need to be very easy going - I didn't want all the spit and fire that my husband's horse put out every time he set off to ride. I wanted something gentle, something I could rub and pet and love.

I let our trainer know what I was looking for. "Personality" was first on my list. Then small, older and calm, in that order. Looks were not a factor. It wasn't long before she called me. "I found him," she said. "Come up and take a ride, I know you're going to love him."

So I went out to her place to check this guy out. When I arrived, she had another client there and they were tacking up a smaller, older looking gelding. Gee, I thought, that looks like what I was talking about. But she had someone else in mind for me.

"Go get Romeo in stall 5," she told me. Romeo? She's got to be kidding, I thought. When I got to stall 5 I knew she had to be kidding.

Here stood this HUGE, and obviously very young horse. He walked right up to me and licked my shoulder. Friendly enough I thought - but he so was BIG. I walked into his stall and held out the halter, which he put his face right into. I walked him over to the back of my suburban and tacked him up. All of my stuff fit him perfectly. He wasn't afraid of the truck, the noises, anything. He tied to lick anything he could put his tongue on, which I found to be amusing.

We were all tacked and ready to go. Romeo didn't mind being last. He didn't mind being first. He kept up with the group, and was still able to explore every log, piece of trash, and poop pile along the way. Nothing frightened him. If he heard something he would keep his pace, and turn his ears towards the sound, but he kept going forward. When a little squirrel jumped out in front of him he did what I call "the four square" - each foot jumping out to form a square - but he didn't take off running. Just stood, even putting his head down to get a better look at little guy. He made me laugh.

Then came the "it's Him" moment. We had made it to the top of a hill where there was a cell phone tower and building surrounded by chain link fencing. On the outside of this facility, there was a cement water trough with fresh water. Our trainer and the other rider had gotten their first and their horses were quietly drinking. Romeo came up from the side and put his whole face into the water then started splashing the other horses! Both of them jumped back as if to say "Hey, he's splashing me!" Romeo continued to splash and play in the water, I'm not sure that he drank any.

I was done. We finished our ride and I wrote the deposit, check, called the vet, and then my husband. Romeo came home a few days later and fit right in with our little heard. I consider him my four legged soul mate.

Since then so many things have changed, not only our lifestyles but our plans for the future. Originally we thought we would retire to a little condo on a golf course in Palm Springs, play golf and enjoy the sunshine. We had never thought that we would leave our little home in southern California, or that we would ever want or need any more space. But as we started thinking about it, talking about it, dreaming about it, the more we wanted it. Then came the biggest change of all, a sign even. About a year ago, the opportunity came for us to leave suburbia and move to Arizona, where we could have our horses "in the backyard" and space to ride. Without hesitation we put our home on the market and started getting ready to make the biggest move of our lives.

We moved to the Rio Verde foothills, just north of Scottsdale, out towards the cowboy towns of Cave Creek and Carefree. They say that this is the "last frontier", and when you come over the hill into our valley, you believe it. It's an amazing view with a surprisingly green valley, green, blue and red mountains of the Tonto National Forest to the north and the east, Four Peaks being the most recognizable. When the sun is setting it makes the mountains look surreal, like they're a painted backdrop to the skies above them. It is a sight that takes your breath away and makes us grateful to be where we are.

Our horses are in the backyard. We ride as often as possible, going out the front gate and off into the wilderness. Our home is just east of a part of the McDowell mountain preserve, and area that is in constant danger of being sold for development. When we bought the house we didn't think about the open space, or that it could one day be gone. But now that we ride out there and see the beauty of it all, we understand the need to preserve it for future generations.

And that's how CowgirlHeart came to be. Watching our open spaces be gobbled up by development gives worry to what we future horse owners face. Not only are our open spaces disappearing, the people who come with the development aren't exactly equestrian friendly. They move in and complain about the animals, the smells, the dust. They get zoning changes that put limits on the number of animals we can keep. They change the city limits to include our lands. The ones who were there first are pushed out by those with too much time on their hands, no concern for the past and no vision for the future. Right now is all that is important, and they'd prefer not to have to dust as often.

Now I work at bringing light to many changes that rural lands are facing. I want the open spaces that I see today to be around for my daughter and future generations to ride and enjoy. I especially want the land to remain open so that a way of life can continue; that of the cowboy, and cowgirl too. All of this started because a little girl wanted to ride without a seatbelt.

Romeo puts me in places of natural untouched beauty. Going for a ride always puts me in a better mood, putting me in the moment and making me let go of worry. I breathe deeper and think better. I pray. I laugh. I feel young, strong and free. I realize that there is nothing better than having your dreams come true.