Jason Love - Yahoo! Voices

Tennis Lessons

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:46:48 EDT

So while I teach Yahaira the ropes -- er, net -- I take pains to be gentle. She is, after all, wielding a racquet.

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Apr 27, 2009

Skydiving

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:21:06 EDT

At Taft Skydive, it was literally raining men. They reminded me of the G.I. Marine Force Paratrooper that I owned as a kid. His chute would open about half the time, a percentage that seemed suddenly unacceptable.

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Apr 22, 2009

Standup Comedy: Jason Love at the Ice House

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:27:36 EDT

With this performance, Jason Love advances to the next round of Uncle Clyde's Comedy Contest at the Ice House in Pasadena, California.

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Mar 24, 2009

Bingo

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:50:01 EDT

I wondered why the woman beside me had shown up in curlers. Did bingo catch her unawares? I mean, at that point you may as well carry a toothbrush.

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Mar 02, 2009

Televisions

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 23:19:20 EDT

"One day you'll go to leave a room and the TV will stand up tall like Julius Caesar and say, 'Don't you give your back to ME!'"

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Feb 23, 2009

Dominican Republic

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 23:15:40 EDT

"There was no time to sightsee, though, because I was having a near-death experience called Driving in the DR. I'm just saying that the country could benefit greatly from painting lines on the road..."

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Feb 23, 2009

Population

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:02:31 EDT

Remember the show "Eight Is Enough"? Eight children is not enough; it's way too friggen many. I live by a dock where every day new cars, still in their wrapper, drive off the boat and into gridlock. That's their first experience in the U.S.

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Feb 13, 2009

Metrosexual

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:59:40 EDT

I used to be so normal. I spat and surfed and used dirty socks for oven mitts. Now when I vacuum, I back out slowly so as not to disturb the carpet triangles. When buddies use the bathroom, I say, "You didn't pee standing up, did you? It splashes."

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Feb 13, 2009

Dog Lickers

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:53:47 EDT

Max weighs five pounds -- half a bowling ball -- but barks like he's been dipped in the river Styx. He chases passers-by with the illusion that somehow, someway, he will finally render them extinct.

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Feb 13, 2009

Fire Drill

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:09:41 EDT

"Captain Phil waved me over to House Three. I looked around to make sure he wasn't crazy. Yes, he nodded, come on up. Did I mention that the house next-door was on fire?..."

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Dec 03, 2008

Standup Comedy: Live TV Taping

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:15:56 EDT

Best-of collection of comics, including Jason Love.

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Oct 20, 2008

Kitesurfing

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 16:28:27 EDT

I myself am not a fan of the wind. To me, wind means fussing with your hair or chasing down papers or that you're in Chicago. Wind stripped the leaves from my patio plant: It killed an artificial tree!

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Jul 31, 2008

Dating

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:47:51 EDT

I'm not cut out for dating anyway. I was married so long that now I'm like an animal raised in captivity -- unfit for the wild. Do you still show up with a corsage?

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Jul 01, 2008

Artsy Mom

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:50:04 EDT

On Thanksgiving we sit down to pumpkin-shaped name cards and a brick of homemade fudge. When Mom says it's from scratch, she means growing the flour, churning the butter, personally laying the eggs...

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Jun 17, 2008

Ad Hell

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:33:23 EDT

"Thank you for calling the I've-Been-Scammed Hotline. The cost of this call is ten dollars a minute. A specialist will be with you in a while."

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Jun 04, 2008

Pneumonia: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Thu, 29 May 2008 16:48:58 EDT

"People spend so much time fighting colds. If we're not bouncing back, we're trying to "feel ourselves" again. I was raised to not feel myself, but the point is ..."

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: May 29, 2008

Baseball Buddy

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Tue, 27 May 2008 09:59:33 EDT

We plan to see a game in person someday. It won't matter who's playing; we'll be talking grass stains, cup sizes, why they call it a "strike" when a batter misses the ball...

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: May 27, 2008

Seagulls

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:34:33 EDT

"A seagull's opinion of you is based largely on whether you're holding food, which includes bread, items that look like bread, and small, bread-like pets..."

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Apr 16, 2008

Standup Comedy by Jason Love: One-Liners

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:17:07 EDT

"Why is milk four bucks a gallon? Does the President have stock in that too?"

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Apr 09, 2008

My Cat Sam

contributor-community@yahoo-inc.com (Jason Love) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:14:35 EDT

My Sam likes to sniff his butt -- and you would too if you could -- but when he looks up, he's got this crazed expression like he's sniffing a totally different kind of crack. I asked a local vet what it meant and he said, "How should I know? I fought in a war."

Contributor: Jason Love
Published: Apr 04, 2008