Rubber Mel Rings a Bell

I was in bed reading how STDs were infecting the nation's youths and wondered if I could make a contribution to curtail the epidemic. The article said that if a condom was used, the chances of contracting STDs were greatly reduced. It was time for me to act; I put on my black trench coat and wide-brimmed hat, and after purchasing a few hundred condoms, I marched off into the night.

The singles bar had over 75 patrons who were dancing and drinking to the wild music. Many of them were drunk while kissing, hugging and grinding to the beat. I sensed it was a prelude to a night of sex without protection. I approached a couple in a dark corner of the room who were rolling around on the floor. I introduced myself and explained the danger of STD. Since the couple were hot and excited I quickly left after leaving three multi-colored condoms in their hands. My supply was gone after speaking to all of the patrons including the band and bartender. My evening was a success after I went home with the female singer in the band. But since I gave all my condoms away I had no alternative but to have unprotected sex and hope for good luck.

Years later, the whole town got to know me as Rubber Mel. I was always seen giving out free condoms at the singles bars. But I never was one to practice what I preach, because I contracted seven different varieties of STDs. "Never do unto others what you would not want done to you" is my new motto. I now always wear a condom before having sex for my own sake and for the protection of others.