Ruby Tuesday's in Jonston, RI

What can you say about a chain restaurant that has as much success as Ruby Tuesday's? What possible comment can be made about an institution that has been linked to at least three Food Network programs and two of their most popular personalities? Terrible, awful, and bordering on non-edible come to mind.

The last four times I've been to this particular store (Route 5 Johnston RI) it has been less than appetizing, twice before the much-heralded make over and menu revamp and twice since. In general the overall feeling of the store is not inviting. The dark colors and wood accents with lots of dark shaded lighting is meant to feel warm and relaxed like a private library would be but in this instance it gives the impression that they are trying to hide things.

Though the floor seems clean it could just be the dark color of the carpeting hiding a multitude of sins much as the low lighting tends to do on the tables and in the booths. Today our table was clean but the slot between the seat cushions of the booth housed left over French fries from previous tenants. The wall at the end of the booth was splattered with a white sticky substance that had been overlooked during wipe down, possibly for days. If the dining room is this neglected when it is attended after each patron I can only imagine what the kitchen must look like. Luckily I didn't imagine it right then.

The new menus that have been so widely publicized were also sticky, much to the chagrin of the hostess who still didn't bother to wipe them down. Our waitress was very pleasant and came to our table within moments to take a drink order. We ordered entrees when the drinks arrived, thankfully in what appeared to be clean glasses. I only wish we could say the same of the plates stacked up by the salad bar. All were wet to the point of having puddles and still held remnants of salads gone by. The salad bar itself was well stocked and there was very little cross contamination of items.

Dinner arrived, well two of three dinners arrived. The Thai Phoon shrimp came on a bed of wilted lettuce and was fried to within a breath of becoming a cinder. The obviously previously frozen product had shrunk inside it's extra thick casing of what must pass as batter somewhere in the frozen food world. Whether this was due to being frozen for decades or being deep-fried for far too long is impossible to determine. There was a drizzle of Thai inspired sweet but spicy chili sauce over the briquettes passing as shrimp as well as a side dish for dipping. If you think the spicy but sweet chili infused sauce sounds appetizing mix a dollop of mayonnaise with a dollop of honey mustard and a few drops of Red Hot and you can enjoy it at home.

The minis combo arrived and the rich melted cheese over fresh USDA choice mini burgers was more like a pale chewy film over two thin, freezer burned, dehydrated discs. Condiments like pickle, onion straws and mayonnaise were virtually undetectable. The side of fries were a mixed bag, some were spiceless, others too spicy but if you ate them a few at a time you might be able to strike a balance.

Finally the classic sampler arrived. And what was described as crisp and golden brown was beyond crisp and dark brown. Mixed in with the lightly cheesed and bacon bitted fries was a ½" blackened chunk of God only knows what. It must have been in the fryer for an inordinate amount of time as it was quite cremated. The chicken fingers were stringy, dry and welded to their breading while the mozzarella was a thin elastic band housed in a giant puff of the afore mentioned "batter" which was burnt to a fare thee well on the outside and was mushy on the inside.

Needless to say we won't be visiting this or any Ruby Tuesday's ever again if we can help it.