Rules of Etiquette: How to Be a Polite Shopper

Working in retail has left me disappointed in the way people shop. If you have worked in retail, then I'm sure you know where I'm coming from. If you haven't, you're probably wondering what I'm talking about. Because you see, if you've never worked in a retail store, then you just might be one of the shoppers I'm talking about. Let me explain: there are certain "rules of etiquette" you should be following while you're shopping. Those of us who work in a retail setting are fully aware of these "rules", and we adhere to them as if they are as important as dinner table manners. Because we know how rude shoppers can be, and we dare not be one of them. So now you're wondering what are these "rules"?

Rule number one. Cell phone use should be kept at a minimum. Nobody at the store wants to know your business. We don't care who you're going out with Saturday night, who just dumped Jane, and my favorite of all time, who gave who an unmentionable STD. Yes, people talk about anything and everything on their cell phones without regard to the people they're talking about and the people in the store. It's especially annoying to those of us working. Trying to get around a person on a cell phone blocking the aisleway is like trying to get someone's attention in a crowd: you almost have to hold up a sign that says, "I'M RIGHT HERE!" When you do finally get the point across, the cell phone user will shoot you a dirty look as if you're the one in the wrong. And last but not least about cell phone use: Do NOT be on your phone when you go through the checkout line. This is RUDE. If the cashier waiting on you worked in fast food, your items would've just been spat on. Talking on your cell phone holds up the entire line, and creates a domino effect. The cashier will get angry, the person behind you will get angry, the person behind them will get angry, and so on. If you choose to follow any of these "rules", this one is the most important.

Rule number two. Do not shop while you're in a hurry. If you must pick up something quickly, then do so. Don't tear through the store like a hurricane grabbing everything at the last minute. Because first of all, someone working there will be cursing you under her breath while she cleans up the mess you just left. And second, you're more likely to make another trip back to the store to return the items you just bought because you were in a hurry. Again, the worker responsible to put those items away will be angry. The excuse for this behavior is "Well, it's her job". That may be, but do you really think we are just working there to clean up after you? There is always a list of "things to do" for the day, on top of cleaning up after the customer. If I wanted to be a maid, I would've applied to be one. We shouldn't have to clean up after adults who are capable of cleaning up after themselves. If you don't have the time to be a polite shopper, stay away from the store until you do have the time.

Rule number three. Always put things back where you found them. You've picked something up and decided later you don't want the item. You're on the opposite side of the store where the item belongs. So you leave it where you are. And some of you will even hide it behind something. No big deal, right? WRONG. There is a reason why everything has its own place in the store. If the store was unorganized, you wouldn't shop there. It doesn't magically find its way back to where it belongs. Those of us working in retail become responsible for your laziness. Instead of leaving in a timely manner at the end of the night, we must "straighten" up the store. Meaning we don't go home until everything is where it's supposed to be. Again, "it's her job" is the excuse you'll make. But why make someone's job more miserable? Just take the time and put the item back. If nothing else, take it to a cashier, tell her you don't want it, and she'll put it in a return basket. At least we won't have to go on a scavenger hunt for it to put it away.

Rule number four. Do not leave the fitting room a mess. Put the clothes you don't want back on the hangers and on the return rack. Do NOT leave the clothes on the floor, inside out, unzipped, unbuttoned, and in a pile. Yes, people do this! It's disgusting. In all honesty, when a retail worker finds this mess, she feels nauseous. Because if you leave this mess, she questions your personal hygiene. And nobody wants to clean up after a pig. The golden rule here is, if you don't do it at home, don't do it in the store.

Rule number five. ALWAYS be a parent above a shopper. If your child is screaming and throwing a tantrum, leave. Teach your child if he can't be "good" in the store, he can't go to the store with you. Please don't leave him in the cart screaming while you shop like nothing is happening. It is STRESSFUL for those of us working to try to ignore what's going on. Just picture yourself being at work and your child screaming while you do your job. Arrange a 'sitter so you can shop peacefully, and we can work peacefully.

Rule number six. Don't be a "Home Shopper". Wanting help is fine, and we are there to assist in your needs. But know what you need before you call the store. Be specific. Maybe even look online before you call to see if we have the item you want. Do NOT call and say, "I'm looking for a dress shoe in red," or "I want to buy something for my husband," or "I want a set of towels to match my bathroom." How are we supposed to know what it is you want?! If you don't know EXACTLY what you're looking for, come to the store and shop. Don't be a Home Shopper!

Rule number seven. Don't argue. Retail stores all have the same motto: "The customer is always right." But this does NOT give you a free pass to be a jerk. If you think the price is wrong on something, ask about it. Be respectful of the person you're asking. Don't demand we change the price to what you want it to be. If you're not satisfied with some aspect of the store, ask for help. Don't get angry and take it out on the cashier. Remember that retail workers are humans, too.

Rule number eight. Always be courteous. Just because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and you're miserable, do NOT try to make everyone around you miserable. It's true, "Misery loves company". Misery is infectious, stay in bed. And while you're shopping, remember to use "please", "thank you", and "excuse me". Also, my name is not "hey you". We wear name badges for a reason. Treat others how you would like to be treated.

Rule number nine. Apply these rules.