Rules to Live By: Numero Uno

Sound easy enough? It's not, because hypocrites are everywhere. The ones I speak of are the harmful ones, the people that tell you how you should be behaving, yet do not implement the behavior themselves. Everyone is a little bit of a hypocrite, and that's forgivable. There is one person in my mind who stands as the exalted hero to hypocrites everywhere, and her name was "Terri."

Terri, on the outside, was a normal person. She was cheery and pleasant enough if you only had to talk to her for a few minutes, and in the right circumstances. Say, you want to discuss home decorating or insurance (she was in the biz), then she was swell.

However, if you wanted to talk about bigotry or controversy, or how the two relate to each other, suddenly Terri isn't so pleasant anymore. She's moderately conservative, because she doesn't really mind things that are different. That is, unless they are just too different, or if it's a bit too close to home.

Terri was a loving mother, because she did everything in her power to mold and pinch her 4-year-old son into the perfect little gentleman. It didn't matter if he was a good person or not, as long as he blended in with the rest of the guys, and she was never questioned for her ability to raise a normal boy.

Terri was also a good Christian, because she went to church every Sunday and put in a dollar every time the tray was passed. Although she had berated a homeless man for being unemployed, she knew that was what was best for him. If she gave him any money, he would surely spend it on booze or drugs.

I think we all have the comfort of at least one Terri in our life. What can we do?

1. Love Her - Love is powerful. Understand that Terri's hypocrisy is rooted in fear that was probably implanted in her by her parents. She's a victim, too.

2. Hate Her - Easy to do. Intentionally torment her with your sinful individuality.

3. Ignore Her - Avoid her, don't go to her Tupperware parties and don't smile at her in the grocery store.

4. Rant about her to your therapist - This can be oddly liberating, and your therapist already thinks your insane anyway.