Rules of a One Night Stand: The Woman's Guide for the Morning After

Maybe this is your first time..maybe you've experienced this moment a thousand times before. The night has passed and you can see the sun starting to shine through the window. You look to the man next to you and may either smile or grimace to yourself. "What the hell was I thinking? And how the hell do I get out of here?" Even if you were fortunate enough to have someone really gorgeous laying beside you in the bed the thought of what he will think as soon as he opens his eyes could bring a woman to tears. With infinite choices sometimes the easiest exit is the simplest. This is our guide to a graceful exit no matter how nasty the night got.

Rule 1- Don't Think Too Much or Get "Too Deep"
Here comes the first step of making an exit. Time for a reality check-you just slept with a stranger. No matter how many sweet nothings were whispered in your ear, or if he gave you his last name out of courtesy, you still don't know this man. Many things are said when things go bump in the night. There is a remote possibility that things may lead elsewhere in the future but until he pursues that leave it alone. Realize that most men operate on a different level than females sexually. True some females can separate emotion from physical fulfillment but for men it almost comes naturally. As women we are innately emotional by nature(not a bad thing)! Keep the interaction very simple and uncomplicated. When you first wake dress yourself as if you're just waking up for work on a Monday morning. If you start getting dressed and feeling self-conscious or slutty he's going to read that through your body language. Conduct yourself with extreme confidence, own your actions, and accept your choices. You will feel better walking away. Exchange goodbyes, maybe add in a random "i enjoyed myself" so that he knows the experience left a good impression on your mind. If you haven't already exchanged numbers or agreed to leave it alone at this point. Trust me, if a man knows he wants to see you again he will make sure he knows how to contact you.

Rule 2- The "Walk of Shame" Doesn't Have to Be Shameful
Don't bother trying to clean yourself up at his place. Get home as soon as possible to avoid an awkward situation. Washing your face and combing your hair are the least of your worries. You need a proper pampering at home so you can relax. Washing your face does no good if you have morning breath and smell like a mixture of sex, perfume, and sweat. So you've gotten past the small talk and handled yourself super cool up until the point that you make your exit from the scene. Time to go outside into the daylight where people will see you most likely in your "club clothes" if you left from a party or club from the night prior. The reality is that this happens regularly in the world, and unless you let what people think or say about you hurt- you're going to be just fine. Hopefully you're returning from a fulfilling night of sensual satisfaction so carry yourself with a little bit of confidence. You're a woman who knew what she wanted and went after it. Nothing to hide from or be ashamed of in front of the nosey neighbor walking his poodle outside at 7 a.m. Simply get into your car, roll your windows down for some fresh air, and let some music soothe your mind. You'll be home soon enough and can change and compose yourself in your time.

Rule 3- Having a One Night Stand Doesn't Make You a Whore
So you get home and it's time to shower and get on with your day. Don't make this an extended scene from the Crying Game where you end up shrinking up in fetal position under the water because you're ashamed of yourself. Take the time to pamper yourself and relax. Unwind and your mind will be more at ease. Having a fling overnight doesn't make you a whore. Your personal conduct and behavior on a daily basis determines that. Don't beat yourself up too much or allow guilt to consume you. "Good girls" have one night stands too! You have control over your emotions and feelings towards yourself. No one can make you feel inferior without you allowing them to. If this is unlike your normal behavior just chalk it up to experience, and take the situation for exactly what it was.

Rule 4- Get Tested
Whether your experience was in a drunken stupor or stone cold sober it's important to make sure that you are tested after every partner and especially after an overnight rendezvous. Again this person is a stranger and this may be their first one night experience but don't risk your health banking on it. Even in monogamous relationships just because one person is exclusive physically doesn't mean the other is. Add in the ONS and you need to be super diligent in handling this. Don't wait until you have itching or burning present wondering how it could happen to you. If you used protection-good for you. There are areas that condoms don't fully cover and foreplay can also transmit from skin to skin contact so keep in the responsible fashion you have been and get tested. If you did not use protection please please do yourself a favor and get tested for sexually transmitted infections as soon as possible! Also weight the risk of possibly becoming pregnant with this person's child and the long term effects on both you and the child. Speak with your doctor about your options. If you don't have health care you can also go to free or low cost clinics in your city. Early treatment can prevent later complications.

If you have exchanged numbers or agreed to continue contact pursue any future possibility of a relationship with caution. As casually as you came into the situation you have no idea what this person does in their free time. They could have a 9-5 job and spend all weekend every weekend in the club picking up strangers. Then again that might have been a one time thing from someone who rarely goes out. Just be aware and give it time. Time will reveal a person's habit and true intentions. The closer you get to this person and establish honesty you'll realize if it's meant to be or not. For all your future endeavors happy hunting and be safe!