Rumor of Her Humor

At any moment, in the life of a writer, it's nice to know if someone, anyone, is looking at your work. Most published writers have already learned the basics of how to attract readers such as: (Yawn)

Know your reader demographic

Compelling title

First Paragraph begs the second paragraph

If you're really lucky you get great graphics people and they come up with something that screams 'Read Me', despite what your words may say. I know from experience, that partially nude shots of women frolicking together on the beach will definitely attract attention. They'll read at least half your article on 'How to Make Scone like Muffins', before they realize the subject matter doesn't match the artwork.

The fact is, most people don't like to read, they want information and knowledge but would rather have it through osmosis. They love bullet points. That's why many people don't speak in complete sentences anymore. They simply don't know how to do it. Also, don't mistakenly think that most writers like to read. That's like thinking most talkers like to listen. Most writers only want to read about how to get people to read what they write. On AC we do a lot of writing for writers-- but often what is read consists of 'How to Get People to Read What You Wrote'.

I'm not one of those people with a huge address book burgeoning with family and friends just dying to read my work. Because of this I'm not sure what my following will be like here at AC. I don't belong to a huge church or have a long list of fellow alumni that might click my pages for old time's sake. For some time now, I can say most of my family and friends have shown only a passing interest in what I have to say, much less, what I have to write. The shiny newness of 'my mom is a writer' or 'my girlfriend just published an article in such and such magazine' has long worn off.

This is especially true when it comes to my children. I try to remember that they wouldn't be interested in hearing about my work, no matter what my chosen field might be, even if I were say, the President of the United States of America. Yes, it's true. It helps when I remember that even President Elect- Barack Obama's own daughter was only concerned about her father's 30 minute TV spot when she thought it might interfere with her regularly scheduled TV programs. His job is much more interesting than mine and he obviously can't get any respect either.

So I concede. I'll admit while babysitting for my daughter, a very busy gal, I indeed did her designated clicking of all my pages. I found it quite a chore myself and I've only got about ten pages on AC to date. It was then that I sent my other daughter, a business owner, with a family of her own, an email resending my request for her to click all my new pages once a week.

Suddenly, I thought about how I was feeling asking friends and family to read my work. I felt, like I was selling Amway or something. People don't really want to buy Amway products. They buy Amway products because a member of their family sells Amway products. I'm sorry if you're an Amway person and take offense to this, but you're first customers are generally people you know, people like your mom, who will give up using the brand they've been using for thirty years because you suddenly want to become an Amway tycoon.

So, at ease friends and family, I'm not going to try to sell you soap or a knife that never needs sharpening. You don't have remember to click my pages and help me with my career- even if I breastfed you and helped you with your algebra. I'll get plenty of views on my own or I won't. In which case, I'll be coming to live with you. Love, Mom