Rumor of Her Humor

First let me say that I am not a fan of overly processed foods. But the second you pull a tomato off the vine and throw it in a pot on low heat it becomes processed. Kill a cow, cut if up and throw it on the barbeque and you've got processed food. Given that; I am a fan of Cheerios^TM. I was a chef and can make almost any dish for my breakfast or yours but I use Cheerios^TM as part of my weight control plan.

Perhaps, by not eating eggs, bacon and toast with a huge slab of butter on it, or one of my famous freshly baked scones with homemade preserves, I'm helping my heart. Who cares? I eat Cheerios^TM with no sugar and 2% milk and it gets me through the morning.

Do I particularly like Cheerios^TM? Well, yes and no. I'd probably prefer a black forest crepe and a petite filet mignon smothered with onions and mushrooms French Canadian style but I reserve that for special occasions. I find that if I eat the same damn thing every morning it kicks into my brain that I am eating for nourishment, not particularly enjoyment, and I eat it and get on with my day.

The other upside is it's so easy to pour Cheerios^TM into a bowl and add milk a three year old could do it. In fact I've seen a three year old do it, it's not exactly the sight I want to see at 6:30 am while grabbing every rag out of the drawer for clean up, but it can be done.

I love an 'everything bagel toasted with butter, slathered with homemade roasted tomatoes and garlic with thin sliced rare rib eye on the top, I love it so much I could eat two. Never-the-less, at five feet, one and one half (the half is important) inches tall and 120 pounds at this last weigh in, I can't afford those calories. Still one must eat breakfast.

It might as well be written in the Bible somewhere, "Thou shall eat a good sensible wholesome breakfast!" I think it was part of the third tablet that Moses accidentally broke coming down the mountain.

It seems I've heard that eating breakfast is the most important meal of the day my entire life, maybe it's not in the Bible but someone really important said it. Perhaps it was the FDA. Oh yeah, I think it was the FDA. You know the guys that decide what's good for us and what's not. Thalidomide good! Cheerios^TM bad! ; That kind of thing.

Yes, I'm one of those awful mothers who gave their children dry Cheerios^TM to snack on when they were toddlers. (Here I shall hide my head in shame). Don't give me that condescending look. They got strawberries and bananas with it, sometimes.

Now that I've had my little rant it's time for a nutritious bowl of Cheerios^TM, before I edit this page. Damn, all out of milk again? And the empty carton is still in the fridge!

(Note: According to the AP, Kellogg Company, agreed to settle charges with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) that it used false advertising to tout its Frosted Mini-Wheats^TM cereal. The national television ads falsely boasted benefits children receive after eating a breakfast of Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats^TM, saying that children who eat the breakfast cereal experience a 20 percent improvement in attentiveness over children who skipped breakfast.) Not Frosted mini-wheats too? They keep me so regular.

So, if the editing job is less than up to par, don't blame General Mills or Kellogg. I just ate last night's pizza for breakfast.