Safe

there is something waiting
in the silence
i can hear it, breathing there
patient and distracted, wishing
i would come back down

there are tangled in the madness
threads of sanity, the real
things that make me who i want to be
the thing you think i am

it feels like backward, slipping
gone away
it looks like yesterday and i can
only taste the things you said
and keep them on my tongue like
chocolate, dosed
to make me stay a while
to keep me where i am

this is some bad kind of psychedelic trip
this is the world we said we'd blow up
when it caught the news of
who we are
and all the things
we want
sitting, tepid and alone
some weak elixir for the masses
to imagine that they're drunk
whore steps, high heels, cheap
from the discount store
red plastic, shiny
i can't run away from me
in them

i want to hide but you are just outside my vision
i want to drown in all the words that i've spun
beautifully and dark
i want to wrap myself up in the moon
i thought was mine alone
i want to burn the days before me in the fire where we
watched the stars

i hate the comedown
hate the way this feels
i am a cave inside a cave inside
a wall
and when the world feels safe
you know there's something wrong.