Same Sex Marriage: The Heated Debate

Same sex marriage is one of the most controversial topics in American society today. Conservatives and liberals have been arguing the subject for years. As homosexuality has become more prevalent and accepted in this country, gays and their advocates have strengthened their stance, and began pushing harder for the rights they feel they deserve. On the other hand, the conservatives and supporters of the Defense of Marriage act see this as an attack on the institution of marriage and are fighting just as steadfastly to stop gay marriage and civil unions from becoming legal. The heated debate over same sex marriage continues on to this day, with both sides presenting views and beliefs opposite of the other, making it all the more difficult, yet important for people to take in both sides of the issue before deciding where they stand.

The conservatives strongest argument against gay marriage is their definition of the institution of marriage. According to the Defense of Marriage act of 1996, the federal government defined marriage as the union of a man and woman. Since then similar laws have been passed in 38 states. In his article, "Against Gay Marriage", William J. Bennett argues that marriage is an "honorable estate" that is based on the complementary natures of men and women, how they support, encourage and love each other (p 288). He is basically telling us only a man and a woman are capable of upholding the sanctity of marriage and if we keep the customary view of marriage it is only because the custom is incredibly treasured. Apparently in Bennett's eyes this is not an attempt to put others down, but protect our "most important social act"(p 288).

Defense of Marriage act supporters also state that around the world, multiple cultures and countries have followed in suit defining marriage between a man and a woman. Furthermore, the conservatives fear the idea of broadening the definition of marriage beyond same sex unions. They feel that if we take this drastic step of changing the definition of marriage to include homosexuals, the next steps would be letting people marry their brothers, their dogs, or multiple people, as those individuals would want their rights to a union with the ones they love as well. Conservatives tell us that marriage is not flexible, it is rigid and unwavering, and if we legalize marriage for homosexuals, the institution will fall apart, cease to exist.

Gays and lesbians around the country continue to be aggravated with the lack of respect they feel they are shown, being denied their rights to express and legalize their love simply because they are the same gender. As Andrew Sullivan states in his article, "For Gay Marriage", the focal point of a marriage contract is an emotional, financial, and psychological bond between two people. Liberals are of the opinion heterosexuals and homosexuals are exactly the same on this point, as neither are more or less capable of making this connection. Gays and lesbians are also no more prone than heterosexuals in not upholding their fidelity in a union, or divorcing or separating. Liberals want the people to see that heterosexual couples have been failing at making marriage work for decades, perhaps longer. Thus, their logic would lead to the fact that homosexual couples should not have to prove that they can succeed, any person who loves their partner should be given the opportunity to make the sacrifices and commitment it takes to make marriage work.

Many other progressive cultures and countries around the world have already taken the step of legalizing gay marriage or civil unions. Canada, the Netherlands, England, Spain and Denmark are a few examples of countries that recognize every citizen's rights. Gays and lesbians are frustrated and feel it is time for America to step up to the plate and award them the legal rights they deserve.

Another concern of both liberals and conservatives alike is how legalizing same sex marriage will impact the youth of America. Conservatives argue that it will change the entire moral system of our country. In their eyes, bringing homosexuality to the attention of the American people, and the swift development of tolerance and understanding is causing a moral dilemma for our youth. They argue that already teenagers think that it is "cool" to proclaim themselves as gay or bisexual. They believe that if we legalize same sex marriage, more young people will think that it is okay, accepted, normal even to live a gay lifestyle. More youth will be drawn to that lifestyle and the country's principles and morals surrounding the sanctity of marriage will disappear.

Conversely, liberals and advocates of gay marriage believe that it will have a positive influence in the children and teenagers in America. Confused and frightened young people will have more places to turn to, and not feel so isolated and insecure. Those that struggle with their sexual orientation will know that no matter who they turn out to be, it will be okay. It can provide role models for young people who have recently come out, and hopefully stop them from falling into the pattern of short term, meaningless relationships with no refuge in sight. According to Sullivan, legalizing gay marriage will also bridge the gulf between gays and their parents, or solidify family life for children being raised in gay households.

Simply put, both conservatives and liberals are bringing the fight for same sex marriage to the forefront, especially with the new presidential elections rapidly approaching. Both sides are bringing everything they have to the battle, countering their enemies' views with points and opinions of their own, and publicizing the issue for the American people to decide. It is important that we take the time to understand both sides of the issue and make a thought out, well informed decision, as both parties have valid points. The end of this battle is a time coming and one simply has to have hope that the people and leaders of our country will make the right decision.

Works Cited

Andrew Sullivan (1995) For Gay Marriage in L. Behrens and L. Rosen (ed), Writing and Reading Across the Curriculum (pp 282-286)

William J. Bennett (1996) Against Gay Marriage in L. Behrens and L. Rosen (ed), Writing and Reading Across the Curriculum (pp 287-289)