Same-Sex Marriage Banning: Please Define Man and Woman

I just got one of those annoying push-poll calls, where while pretending to ask questions for a political poll about Arizona's Proposition 102 to amend the state Constitution to include "marriage = 1 man + 1 woman", the caller and her script tried to shove me onto their side of the fence. What the people behind this bit of political stupidity do not explain is how the state will determine that the license is being issued to a "man" and a "woman", and not some vile same-sex couple with one of them in drag?

Will the clerk who is taking the applications just glance at the couple and say, "sure looks like a man and a woman to me"? Or is the clerk going to ask for the full monty to make sure all the dangly bits are present and accounted for, with nothing dangling where it shouldn't?

Uh-oh! What if Jane used to be John before surgery added breasts and took away a penis? We can't have that happening! Will a same-sex marriage ban depend on birth certificates for proof of manliness and womanhood? I know that transsexuals are issued new birth certificates by some states, so that can't be relied on to protect marriage either.

I know! Let's do a chromosome count like the Olympics does! In addition to filling out a license, the potential mates can hand over a cheek swab to be examined- at their expense, naturally - for Barr bodies, the deactivated "spare" X chromosome that can be seen in a woman's cells. A Barr Body will be present in the wimmenfolk and absent in the menfolk. That should ensure that marriage is fully protected, shouldn't it? No sex-change surgery can turn a XX into an XY. Damn the expense, let's add chromosome screening to the requirements! One man, one woman, one Barr body = one marriage!

Oh golly gee whiz! I used to work part-time in a genetics clinic, and that's going to have some unintended consequences. Where does that leave the 1 in 500 or so men with Kleinfelter's syndrome? They have an XXY chromosome count, one Barr body from the surplus "X, and a penis they probably plan to use. I guess that despite possessing a penis they could marry a genetically XY male (no Barr body present), which kinda defeats the purpose of the proposition, but might lead to some interesting ads in the personals columns. "GWM, Barr Body positive, seeks GWM for matrimony."

And what about the 1 in 2,500 or so women with Turner's syndrome (single X chromosome, no Barr body). Will they be restricted to marrying women and men with Kleinfelter's syndrome to keep the Barr body count legal?

Then there are people with an X-linked recessive genetic disorder called "complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome", who are chromosomally male (XY, no Barr body) and physically female. If they are lesbian it would be OK for them to marry a woman, but most of these people grew up female, physically and mentally. The first woman I met with this condition was a tall, classically feminine, well-stacked blonde who had been referred to our clinic by her gynecologist. (Don't worry, we did not say, "guess what, you are really a guy", we just explained to her that she had a genetic defect that prevented her from getting pregnant).

Do you see why I am confused? Even God can't keep the danged chromosomes straight! Let's marry them all (or let them all marry) and let God sort them out.