Sandra Bernhard: An Interview with a Woman for All Seasons

I first met Sandra Bernhard in 1994 when I did an afternoon stint as her bodyguard at a local record signing on South Beach for her CD release "Excuses For Bad Behavior, Part 1." It was quite an introduction. Mind you I'm around 5'3 and at that time was a bit on the stocky side. Bernhard is probably around 5'11 and pencil thin. We were quite the pair. But sitting next to her that afternoon I learned a great deal about humility, having a gracious heart, and her fans that were crazy about anything having to do with her. I suppose the same can be said for today. She has a solid and loyal fan base that's stuck around even when she hasn't been visibly in the spotlight. Already a writer I scored the chance to write her biography on Allmusic.com and reviewed a number of her recordings, DVD's and movies so I was very familiar with her work. I myself had also been a fan for years. We've run into to each from time to time over the years and it's always the same unforgettable unmistakable Sandra greeting; "Honey, how the hell are you? You've changed so much." Thanks Sandi for remembering. Any time someone famous remembers you and I mean REALLY remembers and they're not just putting on airs is a kick in the pants; makes me smile every time. We hit it off wonderfully back in 94 and we pick up exactly where we left off every time our paths cross. Yes, we're both a little older, wiser, I'm still 5 foot something and she still towers over me (which is really annoying if you want to know the truth), yet we still share common ground and chat as if we've known each other all our lives. So for me the chance to talk to an old friend who has opinions and observations as wide as the sky is blue is certainly a treat and a half. Love Sandra or hate her, there really never has been a middle ground when it comes to her humor, her stage persona or her personal life. She walks the walk and talks the talk. And to tell you the truth I'm don't think she would have it any other way.

TM: Long time no see Sandi. What have you been up to lately professionally and personally?
SB: I have been writing a musical with Justin bond called "arts and crafts" now we are looking for producers.Also doing many of my one woman shows all around; up for TV and film in many directions.Along with a fantastic non-stop cavalcade of seventh grade madness with my kid and chasing our rescue dog George all over the place as well.

TM: Does your new one-woman-show have a name and theme?
SB: "Whatever It Takes." The theme is eclectic, ever reflective of how I view the world, and where I stand in it, all tied in with groovy musical numbers.

TM: The Hollywood award season has officially begun with the Golden Globes last week. Ricky Gervais has come under fire for his '˜unfavorable' comments on Angelina Jolie, Robert Downey Jr., Bruce Willis and two unnamed Scientologist superstars. Do you feel this is '˜much to do about nothing,' or is the criticism against Gervais justified and where did Hollywood's sense of humor about itself go?
SB: As I say in my show "it's award season and I'm feeling like crap." It's a thankless gig hosting award shows, no matter what you do it's never the right thing and ultimately it's no one remembers it by next year.

TM: Would you ever host an award show? If so, which one?
SB: If they came to me, anyone of them, and it helped my cause as a performer I would try and hit the right tone. I guess the Oscars would be my first choice, even though as I just mentioned it would probably fall on deaf ears anyway.

TM: Like me you've always been a big fan of the real Diva's: Cher, Barbara, Diana Ross, etc. Lady GaGa has been labeled the '˜new Madonna.' She obviously has talent and I like GaGa but in your opinion do you think she has the staying power of Madonna or will her light burn out more quickly?
SB: If she can keep writing good songs I think she'll be around for awhile, but times they are a changin.

TM: Does your daughter Cicely or anyone else in your home have Bieber fever?
SB: She's 12 and her tastes run more toward No Doubt and older music.

TM: A few months ago you appeared on Howard Stern. Hollywood always likes to label '˜feuds,' between celebrities. There does seem to be some animosity between you and Kathy Griffin. What's the dish?
SB: There is? Who said that? Nothing to dish here on that one.

TM: Barbara Walters question, sort of: What's your guilty pleasure?
SB: Watching football.

TM: For me one of the worst trends in entertainment is the '˜Housewives,' reality shows. The Atlanta one I get the others I just can't really relate to. For you what's the best and worst trend in 2011? And what about those Mel Gibson tapes?
SB: I don't see any new trends this year, maybe a continuation of reality junk food fest, but there are so many TV outlets to fill and no one wants to spend the money.

TM: Among your many talents are your keen observations in regards to the political and social scene not only here in America but around the world. How has your views changed over the past 10 years and especially in light of the recent tragedy in Arizona? What needs to change according to Sandra?
SB: My views have never changed, we are a very rich country and everyone deserves to be protected, to have health care, a decent education, and to have a social consciousness and responsibility toward our fellow man.

TM: Cicely is now a young lady and you've been with your partner Sara Switzer for 10 years. What does family night consist of in the Bernhard household?
SB: Right now we've finished dinner, playing some solitaire, things are quiet. I just took George out for his last walk of the night, and we are chillaxin.

For those fans in South Florida check out Sandra Bernhard Live at the Prelude by Barton G January 28th & 29th, 2011 Miami Fl at the Adrienne Arsht Center. Tickets are now on sale. Dinner and show $110 for preferred seating, $45 show only, are available by calling (305) 357-7900; or via www.preludebartong.com or www.arshtcenter.org