Sarah Palin: Bitch-slapped by Katie Couric

If you're a testosterone-oozing pig like me, you dig the idea of a good catfight between two slutty looking young coeds--preferably in a big tub of chocolate pudding. Since that only happens in Girls Gone Wild videos, I'll settle for a couple of reasonably attractive women in their forties. So it was with great anticipation that I looked forward to the recent Katie Couric interview with Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. As I tuned in, I watched with expectations of some wonderful angry-chick-on-angry-chick action. No such luck.

I was sure there'd be blood. After all, Couric is part of that disgusting liberal media--the one that insists on asking tough questions and expects intelligent answers in return. Those bastards! And Katie is one of the worst of these godless liberals. She comes on with this cutesy cheerleader persona that makes you expect her to ask reasonable questions like:

"So, um, how do you get your hair to do that? I can never get my bangs to look like that."

"Is it, like, really cold in Alaska, or what?"

"Who do you think will win Dancing with the Stars?"

"Does my ass look fat in these jeans?"

But instead she attacks like a crazed hockey mom who can't find her lipstick while getting dolled up for the annual Moms Against Wildlife banquet.

Despite that, you might think that a hard-nosed Alaskan like Sarah Palin who enjoys shooting defenseless animals and, when necessary, members of PETA, could hold her own against itty-bitty Katie. You might think that these two fiery personalities would lead to a pair of angry women going at it with lots of hair-pulling and lots of scratching and lots of rolling around on the floor. You would be wrong.

In the interview, airing on that commie network CBS, Couric drills Palin with typical left-wing badgering. She opens by telling us that "the lobbying firm of Senator McCain's campaign manager received payments, as recently as last month, from mortgage giant Freddie Mac until last month, even as it was failing. I asked for her (Palin's) reaction during our exclusive interview."

Palin:My understanding is Rick Davis recused himself from the dealings in that firm. I don't know how long ago, a year or two ago and that he's not benefiting from that. And you know, I would--I would hope that that's the case.

Couric:But he still has a stake in the company, so isn't that a conflict of interest?

The Sarah Palin I thought I knew would have said, "Look bitch! I already answered the goddamn question! Now let's move on."

Instead, she responds with this lame pile of crap: "Again, my understanding is that he recused himself from the dealings with Freddie and Fannie..."

Later, after Palin assures listeners that John McCain is the man to fix our battered economy, the overly agressive Couric keeps after her with this exchange:

Couric: But can you give me any other concrete examples? Because I know you've said Barack Obama is a lot of talk and no action. Can you give me any other examples in his 26 years of John McCain truly taking a stand on this?

Palin: I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today.

Couric: I'm just going to ask you one more time-not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.

This is when I would expect an NRA gun nut to pull out some firearms and say something like, "Belabor THIS point, you little commie bitch!"

Instead, Mrs. Palin smiles and says: "I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you."

Regarding Palin's claims that her knowledge of foreign affairs is enhanced by the fact that Alaska is close to Russia, Katie almost mocks Sarah and all but calls her a dumb-ass, which, of course, she is. And Sarah just takes it.

The rest of the interview goes very much the same way with Katie delivering her usual anti-American questions and Sarah answering them like a Miss Universe contestant trying to explain why maps are important. You could almost hear the sound of Katie's hand smacking Sarah across the face, blood spattering from her nose, her glasses shattering.

I was so disappointed. What the hell was that? Who stole Sarah Palin? Where was that tough little hockey mom we all fell in love with? What about the guns, the dead animals, the pit bull, the tough talk? What happened to the screaming, the scratching, the clawing, the hair-pulling?

And where the hell was the big tub of chocolate pudding?