Sarah Palin Farewell Speech: the Second Coming of Sarah Palin

As any thinking American (or world citizen) already knows, Sarah Palin is platitude personified, catchphrase incarnate, and buzz word bombardier extraordinaire, but her farewell speech -- that rambling, incoherent at times, and poetically Dubya-esque farewell speech -- pretty much sums up the politician that is, was, and ever will be the butt of a political joke. And as Sarah Palin went down the road that soared, there was a collective sigh of relief among those that saw her for what she was and is -- a political opportunist without a clue. In short, Sarah Palin is everything in a politician that this country -- no country, not even dream-state secessionist Alaska -- does not ever need manning the helm of government.

And she just quit her job...

Sarah Palin gave her farewell speech Sunday afternoon. All the news networks covered it. All the local news programs ran with it. And all the comedians made fun of it. From Jon Stewart to Steven Colbert to Conan O'Brien, Sarah Palin's farewell speech was skewered for the piece of verbal crap that it was. The Mayor of Bugtussle on "The Beverly Hillbillies" would have been proud. Jed Clampett, who voted for that mayor, would have said, "Weeeee doggie! That lady sure said a mouthful."

Sarah Palin's claim to fame has become a set of speeches of polarized nonsense and platitude-laden lines without substance. She ended her political ascendance to the highest political position in the state of Alaska with an ignominious abdication of her responsibility as an elected official. And as a parting gesture, she told the heavy-handed media to stop making up lies, to stop in the name of the troops fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, to leave now Governor Parrnell's children alone, that Hollywood was in a terrible state, and that her NRA status was sealed.

All of which her ardent fans and supporters, constituents and accolytes are to believe -- due to some grandiose promise of a second coming -- ex-Governor Sarah Palin has a way to change the way things are done from the outside of politics. People are asked to follow a governor who signed off on her civic duty as an elected official because she knows how to fix broke politics, something she couldn't seem to do from inside the highest position in the state of Alaska or as a contender for the second highest office in the United States.

And it is all media's fault.

Apparently, Sarah Palin does not recognize the Emperor's clothes on herself. Perhaps she is still blinded by those expository stories about those ridiculous wardrobe sprees she made during the 2008 presidential campaign. Distracted by more media lies...

Sadly, Americans have heard this speech before. It's the "you won't have me to push around anymore" speech. But Sarah Palin has provided a twist: The promise of something better, a future messiah Palin -- the second coming of Sarah Palin. She's been crucified on the cross of public opinion and nailed to it by the mainstream media. But she'll be back. She has promised. It shall come to pass. She will return bigger, better, more politically independent -- and richer. And she will make the world a better place... just as soon as she gets back from a moose hunt.

What is even more sad is that there are those delusional enough to believe anything and everything the ex-governor says when it should be obvious that what she says conveys no meaning and has no value. But every inspirational leader has had their followers. Willful denial of the obvious shortcomings of the leader is often a prerequisite to follow...

Stay tuned for the Second Coming of Sarah Palin, resurrecting at a sold-out arena near you.

The question most needed asking is: When did a "farewell speech" start meaning "I'll be right back after a few very minor adjustments."

And as her overemphasized, embellished and smarmily accented voice rends the air with golden platitudes and empty rhetoric, remember that she is offering a better way for this great land of ours. Please ignore the mangled phrasing and the obvious platitudes designed to appeal to your patriotism and prejudices. Support the newer, better Sarah Palin for the new old American way. Do it for the troops. Do it for country. Do it for individualism. Do it for a moose in every pot.

Do it for Sarah Palin.

Feel free to place a donation in the collection plate...

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For those wondering about the Dubya-esque poetry, here 'tis:

"And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature's finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it's the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn't it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?

And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future."

As Jed Clampett would say, "Weeee, doggie!!! She sure does talk pretty."

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Sources:

"Sarah Palin Farewell Speech," CNN Television
IBTimes.com