Sarah Palin's Goodbye at the Governor's Picnic

July 26, 2009, was too hot of a day in Fairbanks, Alaska, for thousands to gather in one spot in front of the S.S. Nenana to watch someone speak -- even if it is Sarah Palin. It was 80 degrees and sunny and I was just waiting for somebody to pass out or spontaneously burst into flames. Yet this wasn't a typical Governor's Picnic -- it's not every time you attend a Governor's Picnic does the Governor hand over her power just after serving thousands of people hot dogs and watermelon (along with serving only a partial term -- most of it as a candidate for Vice President). So this was a big day for those from Fairbanks and any other city in Alaska; after only fifty years of statehood their only female Governor was resigning after she served lunch to the masses. I figured out in my short time here in Fairbanks that Alaskans will gather for strange events (outhouse racing is one of many) and tourists will join them out of morbid curiosity. A community wide picnic highlighting Sarah Palin's resignation was no different.

I was never a big fan of Sarah Palin, the pit bull with lipstick that came out of nowhere almost a year earlier. I did enjoy some of the things she had said as she gained popularity, yet there was just that "something" that I did not like about her. The same goes for most politicians since I can't think of one that I actually like, Democrat or Republican. I've learned that it's better to be impartial, especially when you live with a FOX News Junkie. And living with a FOX News Junkie means that big events like the Governor's Picnic will be attended, even if all you wanted to see was the Regatta. I digress. During the course of the picnics events I wasn't going to align myself in the corner with the Palin haters; the one's glad she was leaving or just upset because she was "quitting". I should have been standing next to the only guy out there with a "Taxpayers March On Washington" sign since he had the right idea about the issues we should be talking about. But somehow I got stuck two rows behind the press line with the one group of tourists that loved Sarah Palin and the other group of tourists that only liked Sarah Palin when she was speaking, but beforehand just could not stand her. Essentially, I was in a midst of some of Sara Palin's biggest fans. If there was ever a time I felt like Hunter S. Thompson, this was it.

I wanted a cigarette. I wanted to say something that would offend at least 80% of the crowd. I wanted something cold to drink and sunscreen. And most of all I wanted to see the lady that had wandered by with a "Good Job Sarah" sign get into a vicious fist fight with the lady carrying one of the many variations of the "Quitter" sign. Anything to push time along would have sufficed as those hot, sweaty, crowded three hours standing in one spot under the mean Alaskan sun. Nothing like that happened, of course. News cameras were set up and reporters floated in and out of the crowd. The crowd started growing as the hours crawled and I wished I was among the smart people that were farther back in the shade. But I still stood next to my fiance (aka FOX News Junkie), holding a cup of ice that I escaped momentarily to find and using the program of the days events to fan myself. Not only was I fooled into thinking that Alaska would never be so hot it was no longer tolerable, but I was fooled thinking that the 2009 Governor's Picnic would be a quick, unheard of affair. Silly me.

It was a moment of relief to finally hear the Army Band start playing the music scheduled on the program and to hear the crowd of people cheering (or booing) as Palin and her family took their seats on the stage next to Sean Parnell, the man who was going to become the new Governor of Alaska. Finally! What everyone stood in the heat for was finally happening and we should all be excited and quiet to hear what would be said. Of course, there was one family in front of me with a very, very young baby that was no older than 5 months. And the baby was more than likely hot, hungry, and upset by the noise of the crowd- so much that during the introduction and the invocation prayer the baby was wailing at the top of it's little lungs. I'm sure the press was glad to get that epic scream on all of their footage, since the family was right behind the line of the cameramen and reporters. The baby was quickly taken away to a shady spot and for a brief moment I thought that if I did the same thing that maybe, just maybe, I'd be taken to a shady area and fed some good food. I decided to tough it out, Palin was going to be giving her speech in due time and there was a possibility of her saying something that could sway me into liking her just a little bit.

By now you've probably seen bits and pieces of Palin's speech on television. I was able to call all the moments that would be played over and over. I wondered why I had stood in the sun so long among all those people just to hear some of the same thing being said over and over again. Palin still didn't give any reason why she was stepping down (although I have a sneaking suspicion that it may have to do with ethics) and still gave a nod towards the possibility of running in 2012, but she never said for sure. There were a couple of bits that I did agree with. I don't think politicians kids should be a target (yes, she's still upset about the Letterman fiasco). Now, even though she is the one that shoved them into the spotlight during the 2008 election season, I would think that most of us have a good enough head to not take a cheap shot at a politician's children. There's enough reason to make fun of any politician, whether it's Sarah Palin or not, that their children can be left out of it. There was also the part about the government trying to regulate hunting and guns in Alaska even more. I agree with her, Alaska's regulations are good enough. Most hunting in Alaska is done by the people in the villages. They do it for food. They kill a moose or two and they share it with their community and none of it wasted. I'm not a hunter myself, but I understand the significance of it in this state. Some people and villages live off of hunting and the land. I believe Palin said, "We eat, therefore we hunt". And even though this state might love their guns and the NRA, there's not the violence people associate with guns here. I don't hear of a shooting every night on the news like I did in other places. I have to side with Sarah Palin here and say what she had hinted at on Sunday- Alaskans aren't dumb. Only Alaskans know what's best for Alaskans, not the government. Yet, this is what we've all probably heard before from her (I know I have). The speech was one that could have been pieced together from previous speeches. It was still good, but I expected more for being close to having a heat stroke.

All I have to really say is: Good luck Sarah, whatever it is you're going to do. Just hope it was worth stepping down for.

And: I went to Sarah Palin's resignation and all I got was this wonky sunburn.