Sarah Palin's Reasons for Resigning as Governor of Alaska

Caught floating around the blogosphere and Twitter, the unreal reasons for Sarah Palin to resign:

13. I wonder who has the negatives.

12. She's leaving to make a bid for President in 2010.

11. She was tired her denials of global warming didn't satisfy Eskimo villages floating out to sea.

10. She is going to market her own brand of organic moose bacon.

9. She's preparing to become Hive Queen when the Red States stage their secession bid and establish Rushtopia.

8. She was frightened by the ghost writer for her book.

7. Someone finally noticed that Alaska doesn't have enough money in the State accounts to cover the budget.

6. Would you want to try to govern a state like Alaska in a world without Michael Jackson?

5. She ran out of exclamation points for her memos.

4. She's been offered her own show on Fox news called "Fairly Unbalanced".

3. She heard that Alaskans shoot lame ducks from helicopters.

2. She wants to hike the Appalachian Trail with Governor Sanford.

1. She wants to spend more time with her girlfriend in Argentina.

And the REAL reason ... North Korea is about to blow Alaska off the map and she's trying to get out of range, after which she will send e-mails from her secret bunker to President Obama, containing such sophisticated political insights as "Neener-neener-neener" and "Toldja so, Bucko."