Satire: Internet Temporarily Unavailable

Are you addicted to the Internet? Like me, do you find yourself "out of range" or "temporarily unavailable" at times? In most cases you will only be unavailable for a short time, so instead of going through unpleasant withdrawals here is what you can do.

VISIT

Remember your spouse that you married years ago? There probably still there, right where you left them when your Internet addiction began. Try talking to them, you might just find they have something to say since 1990 something.

If you find that they have sprouted shorter versions of you do not be alarmed. They are your children. They also might just be able to surprise you with what they have learned since you've been away.

GROOMING

Now would be an excellent time for a shower, unless of course you're driving. A haircut and shave might even be in-order unless of course you want to continue incognito. Likely you've kept your fingernails cut, as it's a pain to type without but just look at those nails down on your toes. They need help.

Come to think of it when was the last time you did the laundry?

BILLS

Life encompasses more than just paying for your Internet connection. While your Internet connection is temporarily unavailable this would be a great time to pay those bills. You might just find this to be a successful way to avoid foreclosures and repossessions. It's amazing how much friendlier families can be when they can enjoy such commodities as heat and electricity not to mention toiletry.

EXERCISE

While the Internet does provide a number of resources never before available to mankind, exercising is just not one of those unless, of course, you are following @MrsCWin Beach Body program. However, even then ungluing yourself from your electronic devices so as to stretch those wearied limbs is essential.

Or you could do what I am, by throwing caution to the wind and heading out on a huckleberry adventure with your family and friends. Yes, the world outside does include a bright object in the sky that shines, green grass on the ground that grows (may need cutting), and huckleberries, lots and lots of delicious huckleberries.

Whatever you decide to do. Do something; you just might find that life outside the Internet can be a fun exciting adventure. Being temporarily unavailable does indeed have its benefits even for those of us who are addicted to the Internet.