Saturday Night Live -- 3/14/09 -- Tracy Morgan / Kelly Clarkson -- Sketch by Sketch Review

A taped cold opening is quite unusual for SNL. Playing off of his reputation as a nut job, Tracy perceives everyone as a threat and begins punching them out, even when they aren't threatening him at all. Tina Fey shows up to comfort him and he decks her too. A very short but funny opening. It would have been funnier if they had made Tracy's violence more and more over the top until he got to Lorne Michaels.

Tracy Morgan Monologue -- 7

Tracy pokes fun at SNL's treatment of black people by saying he has more sketches tonight than he did on his entire run on SNL, then launches into a funny monologue about how the press made his fish tank fire look ghetto. Then he mistakes the stage manager for Lorne Michaels. When Lorne is pointed out to him, he starts to cuss him out. One of the more amusing monologues this season, but that ain't sayin' much.

Chewable Pampers -- 2

The low rating is for using this commercial for a third time this season. My daughter seems to think it is a real commercial. It was funny once. Less so the second time. Just juvenile the third.

Brian Fellows' Safari Planet -- 2

Tracy Morgan revisits his intellectually challenged animal show host. He seems to have forgotten the character, simply shouting his lines, which he is clearly reading from cue cards. This sketch was never one of my favorites back when Tracy Morgan was on, and it seems worse tonight. It looks like Morgan might simply sleepwalk through tonight's performance.

The View -- 3

The female gabfest is parodied once again. Kristen Wiig and Michaela Watkins do a great Hasselbeck and Barbara Walters again, but Tracy Morgan's Sherri Shepherd, Keenan's Whoopi, and Fred Armisen's Joy Behar are simply horrible. A few laughs, but otherwise, this sketch does nothing except take a few very obvious stabs at The View and not very well.

Scared Straight -- 7

My God, is everything tonight going to be a recurring bit? Tracy Morgan and Keenan Thompson play the convicts with not so convincing scary stories, ripped right from the plots of famous movies, for the juvenile offenders. Keenan is pretty funny, warning a kid that calls him out on the Sideways plot that he better be careful or he'll be tasting "Penis Noir". Tracy Morgan is so loud that you can't hear what he's saying. The funniest part of the sketch is Bill Hader breaking up when the two start touching his mouth and nose. Yeah, the giggles are cheap laughs, but when the entire cast is cracking up, you can't help but laugh.

Dateline -- Real Life Crimes -- 8

I love Bill Hader's impersonation of Keith Morrison. He catches how creepy his voice, facial expressions, and questions are. Not fall down funny, but great nonetheless.

Astronaut Jones -- 1

What the hell was this? A digital short gone bad? Tracy Morgan appears as an astronaut who sings a song and then lands on a planet where he sees an alien woman played by Andy Samburg. As Samburg delivers his lines, Morgan appears to be mumbling nonsense. An absolutely horrible sketch. Perhaps the worst of the season.

Kelly Clarkson -- My Life Would Suck Without You -- 7

Whoa Kelly, that outfit is not flattering. Still, the girl has more of a knack for hooks than any other American Idol winner. Nice pop song.

Weekend Update -- 5

Only three jokes in, and they jump to a commentary. Bill Hader plays Bernie Madoff victim, John Malkovich pretty well, doing the trademark Malkovich slow build into anger over Madoff's evil deeds. Tracy Morgan makes an appearance to do a "Really" commentary, where all he says is that he "really" doesn't want a tax on strippers. Barbie, played by Kristen Wiig, shows up to talk about her 50th birthday. Wiig throws herself into it with the 50's Barbie do and her stiff hands. She talks about a party that was going great until a Bratz doll came and cut somebody. Barbie talks about not being satisified with Ken and tries to pour herself a drink, which she then winds up pouring all over herself. She said that she got fired from all of her jobs. Why? No elbows.

Weekend Update had plenty of news to talk about this week, but instead we get some really lame jokes and some moderately funny commentary. Why is it so hard to write some news related jokes?

Funny lines: None worth noting.

Big Love -- 6

Wow, an actual parody of a TV show? Why don't they do more of these? Jason Sudeikis does a great Bill Paxton. The premise is actually pretty funny, bringing in new wife Fantasia Devine, a transvestite played by Tracy Morgan. Fantasia is excited about joining the church of "More man". Unfortunately, the sketch appears to not know where to go and it is abruptly ended.

Digital Short -- Party Puns -- 9

Bill Hader and Andy Samberg come to a party where they start spouting lines like "look at those jokers" and point to two people dressed as the Joker in a corner. Their derogatory expressions about their fellow party goers keep getting illustrated in ever more humorous ways.

Suppressex -- 6

This commercial about an anti-Viagra to be used when men shouldn't be excited would be funny if Tracy Morgan was able to get his lines straight. If ever a commercial should have been pretaped, it is this one.

High IQ -- 1

A gameshow for college professors hosted by Tracy Morgan. As they try to answer their final question, they hear an awkward happy tune and are greeted by a dancer, throwing the professors off. Soon bacon and eggs, Harry Potter, Mary Poppins and more com into the picture. This seems merely to be an excuse for the whole cast to show up. The sketch is even less funny than it sounds.

Kelly Clarkson -- I Do Not Hook Up -- 7

Another effortless pop tune from Clarkson.

Family Flix -- Rocket Dog -- 6

Tracy Morgan plays a film director of a movie called Rocket Dog about a dog with a Rocket Pack. He shows the end of the film, with the dog blasting into space, and an end card that says, "In Memorium". Turns out the dog really wore a rocket pack. It's followed by more clips and more memorials to other animals, including the human actor. Somewhat amusing, at least compared to the crap that has come before in the episode.

Gas Right Adhesive Strips -- 6

The Breathe Right nasal strips inventor creates a version for the butt to keep you from making noise at night. They've shown this one before to. Amusing, but not so much the second time. This was obviously a time filler, most likely when the laughs didn't come.

Overall -- 3

This is by far the worst show this season, with only the digital short really bringing the funny. Tracy Morgan wasn't that great when he was on SNL, and he was phoning it in as a guest star. Almost nothing worked tonight, and either the writers had no ideas or they couldn't figure out anything funny to do with Morgan. This season has managed to make many funny people unfunny and those you wouldn't associate with humor be funny. Don't watch this one in reruns.