Save Your Romance and Your Money

It has happened to everyone. One week your flush, the next broke. Whether you are married, dating, starting a relationship or just flirting it can be difficult to keep up with some of the more expensive expectations in a relationship. What do you do when the feelings are there but the money isn't?

I am going to state the obvious - it is not how much you spend it is how much thought you put into it. For example, your significant other says something like, "Oh for our anniversary I would love to go to a spa," (wishful sigh). Translation, I would love to be pampered for a day or even just a few hours and have my body relaxed and massaged and made into something beautiful to share with you. This does not mean that you have to rush out to the most expensive place in your city and schedule a day long pampering session for your significant other and maxing out your credit card. With some planning, a little help from a babysitter, neighbor or friend who could watch your children and a very small budget you can create the pampering event that your significant other may want. And the hard work that you personally put into creating something special for them will not only be appreciated but remembered long after the day has passed.

Here are some ideas that you can use to bring romance into a new relationship without setting too high expectations for the romance to come or to rekindle romance in an existing relationship without your significant other moaning and groaning - in agony - over balance the checkbook or paying the credit card bill. Let's save the moaning and groaning for happier things!

Travel the world from the comfort of your home. Everyone thinks and dreams about a romantic vacation. You can create one in your home and all you need are for the kids to go to bed early. Pick a place of theme and then let your creativity flow. For example, if you enjoy camping; light the fireplace, pull out candles or battery operated lamps and toast smores while sitting on a blanket in front of the fire place. Some hot chocolate and snuggling on a cool evening (maybe even leave the window open a tiny bit to create a cold breeze) can give you both a change to unwind and remember those times you can get away. Create a themed night for a Hawaii adventure. women go ahead get a grass skirt and some Hawaiian music and do your own hula - he won't care if it's good or not but the gentle swaying hips, hand motions and bikini with legs showing through the skirt and some homemade drinks should do the trick. The same can be said for Italy, France (get some jams, bread, cheese, fruit and wine); Spain (make a pitcher of sangria at home and create your own tapas with very little effort) or any other travel adventure you may have in mind.

Get an Entertainment book if one is available in your area. You would not believe the savings that your $35.00 investment can make. Not only that but if you are on a date you can slip your Entertainment card with your credit card all in one motion in the bill and your date won't even know. One example, for an "evening in Cuba," my husband and I went to a Cuban restaurant and indulged in Sangria, each had a traditional Cuban dish, listened to a Cuban band and had free dance lessons. Total cost including tip - $28.00. Buy one meal get one free, find the happy hour specials on drinks and restaurants that are hosting music and/or dance lessons that evening.

Take a walk holding hands. You can even do this with the children. The autumn nights here in Houston are crisp and cool and even though the leaves aren't turning yet just getting out of the house and holding hands while watching the kids walk with us sets the tone for a relaxing evening.

Movies-watch DVD's at home, pop some popcorn and snuggle on the couch. If you still want the surround sound experience go to a discount cinema, carry a big bag with candy treats and a can of pop. Tacky? Maybe. Affordable? Absolutely!

Plays/Musicals/Ballet/Art: Try local colleges, community performing arts centers, and high schools. You are supporting local artists and saving yourself a bundle of money. Sometimes you are also amazed at the talent you will view. Many times the cost of an event at a college or other venue is free or minimal and can provide you with hours of entertainment.

Love to eat out? Let your fingers do the walking if you aren't interested in the Entertainment book. Create a list of happy hours or special nights/discounts at area restaurants. Ask your friends to contribute. Make everyone happy by posting it on your personal website for future reference.

Here are some everyday tips for keeping romance alive and well - it really is the everyday thoughtful things you do for your partner that makes a difference and sets the tone for romance on the big occasions:

Love Notes - not creative? Use Romance Quote.com to find silly, sassy, sexy, funny, quotes for any occasions, or time in your relationship.

Walk in the park, visit a reservoir or other natural trail - feed the ducks, hold hands, and my favorite make up stores about other people as you pass by them.

Play games together - one of our favorites involves a bubble bath with bubble ball instructions inside of it - use your imagination to find out the instructions on this game! Board and card games work too.

Love on your Driveway-sure it sounds kinky but actually the whole family can get involved. Everyone takes sidewalk chalk and writes a love note, draws a heart or other love signs on the driveway so that mom or dad can see it when the get home. Great surprise and mom or dad will be thrilled that the thoughtfulness included the children.

Create a CD- we all know this but how often do we do it? My husband loves a variety of music all types and across the ages. How else could I give him a CD that will provide him with all the music he loves, show him I noticed his likes and created a one of a kind unique gift - for pennies.

Volunteer - if the holidays are approaching work in a soup kitchen to cook, clean up or prepare a meal. Clean out the house together and put all those coats and clothes to good use by dropping them off together and stop for a Starbuck's on the way home.

Create a book- one of my husband's favorite gifts was a wedding gift I had made for him. He is a beer critic, so I found an electronic copy of all his reviews and informational articles on beer. I formatted them, organized and created a Bryan's Brews Book. Binding costs very little and printing was done on my professional computer. Who knows maybe someday it will be a coffee table book.

Love sports but can't afford a NFL or College Football Game? - Go to a local high school sporting event. You will spend little money and enjoy the crisp night air and experience the excitement of high school dating all over again.

Take on a responsibility for a day that normally your significant other would be responsible for. For example, do the dishes for her, take out the trash for him. My personal favorite is when he "tucks" the girls in with me at night.
Touch- seems silly to remind you doesn't it? Don't forget to kiss goodbye in the morning, hold hands while walking, touch while passing, giggle and be silly sometimes.

Here are the most important tips for you to keep in mind. First, you don't have to buy anything for a day or event to be special. Secondly, guess what? While we all like perfume, flowers, candy and jewelry - they are overdone and overrated. After four children, give me an hour in the bathtub with candles and a glass of wine any day over a dozen roses. Thirdly, be attentive - even if you are broke that does not excuse you from a hug, kiss, stroke or even an email greeting card. One year I was incredibly broke, but I sent a virtual box of chocolates, some virtual balloons and an on-line greeting card. He also received a "coupon book" with personal and not so personal redemption, for a later time when I did have some disposable income. Many on-line sites allow you to send them or print them for free. Or join a site for about $13.00 a year and you can send and print as many as you want - not to mention the savings you will have on all those other important dates and family members you need to remember. Set the time aside to show your special someone that you care, that they are important to you and that you think about them with love and affection. No money is involved there, and the rest will all fall into place.