'Saved by the Bell' Stereotypes High School Reunion: Where Are They Now?

There's a 'Saved by the Bell' reunion in the works, which brings back memories of Zack Morris' informative asides and Jessie Spano's feminist tirades. But where are they now? What are the 'Saved by the Bell' kids like now, and how different would they be from their younger selves at a high school reunion? The six perfect stereotypes from 'Saved by the Bell' have come a long way, and there's a lot we can learn from who they became after the show. I wonder how the feminist, jock, ladies' man, fashionista, cheerleader, and geek would get along at their high school reunion...

(Cue wavy fadeout into daydream sequence)

The popular ladies' man that everyone hated for being loveable while slacking off doesn't always turn out working for the city and being an alcoholic jerk that hits on high school girls until he's in his twenties ('Dazed and Confused' reference; that's a whole different high school reunion). No, when Zack Morris reunites with his 'Saved by the Bell' pals at their class reunion, he surprises them all by revealing that he's become a successful attorney that actually cares about his clients (however, he couldn't escape being involved with a former classmate! And no, I don't mean that former classmate). Plus Zack Morris doesn't age and remains as loveable as ever, so he has no problem at all slyly walking into his class reunion while running his fingers through his hair and giving all the ladies a sly smile.

Jessi Spano, the feminist that was always a little geeky, shows up to the 'Saved by the Bell' class reunion a completely different person. Apparently, if a good girl gets addicted to No Doz in pursuit of a singing career, she spirals out of control, eventually becoming a stripper and trying to make it as a show girl. So she struts into her high school reunion flaunting her Las Vegas body in a mini skirt, and she's not insecure about her height anymore in her stripper shoes. She's never far from the punch bowl, has her own flask at hand, and hits on every guy at the reunion. She doesn't stand a chance with squeaky-clean Slater now, but perhaps a good-hearted Zack Morris might take Jessi Spano under his wing? (With her new lifestyle, it would be a good idea to keep an attorney at hand).

Speaking of Slater, the jock that always tried to put on a tough face has loosened up a lot since high school after freeing himself from sports. In fact, he's discovered that he has a personality. Slater was never the ladies' man that Zack Morris was, but when he learned that all he had to do was crack a smile, talk about celebrities, and try to look more like a muscle-bound teddy bear than a macho man to impress the ladies, he finally elevated himself to Zack Morris' level. So Slater has yet again managed to make Kelly Kapowski's choice even harder. (Of course everyone is divorced at this point; a wedding in Vegas is never a good idea.)

Lisa Turtle, the fashionista, shows up to her reunion dressed to the nines, but carefully covered up. After a string of failed marriages (including one to a comedian and one to a doctor), a few soap opera appearances, an attempt at a singing career, and a few appearances as a music video girl, she became a little tired of her shallow lifestyle and turned to religion. However, she still likes being the center of attention, so she hasn't given up on her singing career just yet and is even working in movies. So with her shallow obsession with shopping being somewhat dulled, is there a chance that Lisa Turtle and Zack Morris could become an item again? Now that would be a 'Saved by the Bell' reunion movie that I'd love to see.

Unfortunately, loveable goofy geeks that don't get attention from the girls in high school might end up doing something crazy like starring in a sex tape when they get older to make up for being the butt of so many jokes. Unfortunately, this plan backfires. After years of being Zack Morris' bumbling sidekick, Screech still continues to pout about not being as popular and good-looking, so he shuns his old pals by not attending their class reunion and talking trash about them. It's so sad that the smartest guy in the bunch grew up to become such a lazy jerk. When it comes to this 'Where Are They Now?' look at Screech, he's definitely doing the worst.

Kelly Kapowski, the popular girl that always came off as the bubbly, friendly, cheerleader, was actually really secretly snooty; when she graduates high school, she falls off of the map, but still acts like she's too good to get back with her old friends for a high school reunion. After her picking up pot smoking and all of the love triangles and troublemaking she got involved with at another high school, it's easy to see why she and Zack Morris didn't end up staying together. Kelly Kapowski probably just did what any shallow cheerleader type would do when all else failed: used her good looks to snag an actor or some other rich guy, had kids with him, got divorced, and put her 'Saved by the Bell' days behind her. She'll make an appearance on a 'Where Are They Now?' episode, however, just to prove that she still has that cheerleader charm.

So, where are they now? Well, in very different places than they were in high school, that's for sure. It's amazing how different these classmates would be at their high school reunion, and it makes you long for the days when each one was a perfect stereotype that still managed to mesh with such a diverse group of friends. Too bad Zack Morris' "Time Out" magic doesn't exist in real life.

SOURCES: www.wikipedia.com
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