Saving Money on Your Wedding: How to Cut Down the Guest List for Your Wedding

A way to save funds is to examine your guest list. Simply, the more people you have, the more it will cost. Examine your list by category, examine by age, and examine by temperament.

Is it possible to exclude people from work, school, or certain groups altogether, by telling the entire group it will be a small, intimate affair when possible? If you do invite these people, do you want to extend to the single guests the ability to invite a date if they are not already in a semi-serious relationship? If you do, you not only have to pay for the co-worker but a stranger you will likely never see again. Second, you virtually eliminate the opportunity for this single person to meet new people, since they will likely just hang out with their respective single platonic date friend. How likely is this person to just hang out with their guest and not mingle? If you do not have a relationship with them, and while circumstances do vary, do you really want to buy dinner for a work acquaintance and a stranger? However, inviting workmates may simply be unavoidable and problematic to your career if you do not make the gesture. If you are friends with practically no one at work, it is not reasonable to invite the whole office. But if you are social with most of the office, it is likely more problematic to just exclude a few people. In this case, it is best to review the guest list for other people to trim, such as people you have not been in touch with for awhile or perhaps those you know you will likely not keep in touch with after you marry as your friendship is circumstantial and likely will not continue if you move or switch jobs, clubs, or the church you attend (that is if you are not obligated to this person for some other reason) if you are not otherwise social with this person.

Another way is to analyze your list and assess who is most likely to be more consumed with nit picky details and decide if you really want them at your wedding. Some friends will be happy to see you happily married, and not be excessively consumed with the details of flowers or decorations since they are focused on you, and are also hungry and would like to be fed. Sure they would like the Surf and Turf, but they aren't going to complain if they get chicken. But not so with the Nitpicker, they are different. They may love you to pieces, but they just love complaining more. This person is likely to complain and be unhappy no matter what you provide: chicken is wrong, beef is wrong, if you go traditional then someone else did it better, if you go untraditional then you did it wrong. You can just hear them say that your wedding dress is either frumpy and unflattering, and "that is a shame because you are a pretty girl who should just stand up straight" or you are "showing way too much skin for a bride". Or it could be that the staff will too slow or rude, the flowers will be all wrong for a wedding, there will be too much alcohol or not enough, the music too loud, the list goes on and on. So to the Nit-Picker, you can spend a million dollars on your wedding and something will still be wrong. Be realistic, how many things about your wedding are you worried about just because this person will say something is not good enough? Are you spending more money than you have in an attempt to please this person? If so, do you have to invite them? If you do, console yourself with the fact that is it likely they will complain whether you choose the more expensive or less expensive item, so it is likely not worth your time to worry excessively about attempts to please them. And who are they complaining to anyway? Do you care about the people who will sit and listen to the Nit-Picker? If you have to have one or more Nit-Pickers, consider seating them together (preferably in the corner, where they like it and they are far away from you) they will have more fun together and it will spare two other tables of people from having to listen to them complain. If you have to cater to several nit-pickers, consider seating them all together, have the staff serve them first or invite them to the buffet line first, consider slight upgrades to the table centerpiece or the wine or whatever else they like to complain about at just their table, see to it that they get their wedding cake first, and maybe they will leave early when they decide the music is too loud. Then again, this person might be a Nit-Picker, but they are an important Nit-Picker to you, such as a close relative, that while not a vocal complainer, they may be hard to please. It might be the most enjoyable and cost effective for you that this person is somehow occupied at your wedding, whether overseeing something that doesn't really matter to you but keeps them busy and distracted, or a devoted saint of a friend or relative volunteers to occupy this person in some way, or if they can stay busy with a photographer pointing out important people to get photographs of, etc. Hopefully if they are occupied, the smaller details will escape their notice and not require you to break the bank in an attempt to please them with items that really do not matter.

If you choose to have children at your reception, they frequently would not like or finish an entire adult meal. Many caterers will offer half price or nominally priced child oriented meals, such as chicken fingers. This saves you several headaches: the child will enjoy the meal instead of leaving more expensive food uneaten, plus if a younger child does not eat and is up later than usual at an evening wedding, they are far more likely to be disruptive, something that your other guests will remember unfavorably. To that end, it may be a good idea to provide any children with some activities such as coloring books or games so that disruptions do not occur and distract from your more expensive wedding features (i.e. a child yelling while the DJ or band is playing, or during your cake cutting will steal the thunder from the events you have allocated your wedding funds.) It is also reasonable to decide that no children that are not family below a certain age will be invited such as under the age of sixteen.

Family often will add to a guest list many names of their friends and neighbors that you do not even know. If these additions are excessive, consider approaching the family to reduce their share of guests. This can be blamed upon the size of the facility's capacity if finances are a touchy subject, or if you have no objection to the individual, it can be simply stated as a cost cutting measure based upon the per head cost times the number of friends they have invited. Many parents, especially those of males, do not realize the excessive costs of wedding receptions. I have often overheard people at weddings speak of costs and not realize that a per head cost at a reception far exceeds the cost of a nice meal at a restaurant, so the family may not realize the financial burden they are imposing upon you with their guest list. State the per head cost and a reasonable amount you can afford, if they wish to exceed this number, ask for suggestions to pay for these extra friends. It may be necessary to give each party who is inviting people (bride, groom, and their respective parents) a reasonable cap in which everyone, including you, must adhere. This manner of cutting the guest list is most likely the most difficult and emotional for parents. But if you are able to cite you have already carefully considered and trimmed your list of some people, even those you see every day (such as workmates or neighbors) then it shows you are not asking them to do something that you yourself have not done. It also shows you understand it is awkward to not invite people you see regularly, but calmly citing how you have done so might help them see similar areas they can cut their respective lists.

While you cannot "overbook" a wedding, generally a small percentage of people, sometimes up to 10% either cannot come to your wedding due to travel, health, previous engagements or other conflicts. Then a few might miss due to illness at the last minute, and it is common for one or two people just not to show at the last minute. While you cannot uninvited someone, it is likely a few people you have invited will not be able to come, which can be reasonably factored into your plans. Remember to ask your caterer about either a credit for no show guests or how late they can receive a final guest count.

Cutting a guest list is a stressful and difficult part of having a wedding, no matter how much money you have to spend on your reception, but it is a necessary task to cut reception costs.