Saving Our Children - How to Prevent and Identify Sexual Abuse

It is a parent's nightmare to find out his or her child has become a victim of sexual abuse. Not only does it scar a child for life, but it can make it hard for the parents to cope with. The best way to deal with sexual abuse is to become proactive in protecting your child from becoming a victim. This article will create a typical pedophile profile, tips for protecting your child, and how to identify the signs of sexual abuse.

Profile of a pedophile

Pedophiles, also known as child molesters, are very sick and twisted individuals. They usually have a preference for the types of children on which they prey. For example, one pedophile may prey on adolescent boys, while another prefers girls under the age of ten. Pedophiles are not easily identifiable, so you must be aware at all times.

Pedophiles are usually men, but some women may also become pedophiles. A great example of a woman pedophile would be Mary Kay Letourneau. Pedophiles can come in all shapes and sizes. They have a mentality that as long as they behave in a manner where there is no violence or open force, they are not being abusive. This mentality shows just how twisted pedophiles can be. Also, pedophiles have a strong believe that if a child does not resist their advances, the child must be consenting. The truth is children do not resist because they are scared.

More often than not, pedophiles are usually someone the child knows. This can be a friend's parent, a family friend, or a relative. If the pedophile cannot get his or her hands on a child they know, they will often befriend a family. By befriending a family with a child that meets their preferences, he or she is able to manipulate the parents and gain acceptance to the family prior to abusing the child.

In the eyes of the pedophile, their actions are not wrong, but they know the law has been broken once they engage in the abuse. Most child molesters have spent much of their lives abusing many children. Pedophiles may have an array of activities they use to abuse children. These activities include:

- Sexual suggestions

- Showing pornography

- Fondling and touching private parts

- Masturbation and sexual kissing

- Oral sex and penetration of genitals or anus with an object, penis, or other body parts.

Protective measures

When it comes to your children, always keep your guard up. Make special note of when any adult takes a special interest in your child. If an adult is showing favoritism to your child by buying him or her special toys it may be a sign of "grooming", or preparing your child to become his prey. If it ever gets out of hand, ask the adult to stop coming around or simply, remove your child from the situation.

When it comes to your child's caregiver, you cannot be too cautious about finding the best care. Ask for references and conduct your own background check. Look for any red flags, such as allegations or reviews of other parents who use the daycare center. Do not be afraid to ask your child if she or he enjoys staying with their caregiver. Ask your child at different times just to make sure she or he is comfortable enough in the environment.

Keep an open relationship with your child. Teach him or her about their body parts, including their private areas. If you are open with your child and have taught them about their body parts, the earlier and more likely they are to come and tell you about the abuse, if it should happen. You will also want to teach your child to never keep secrets which make them feel uncomfortable or worried. Let them know they can tell you anything at anytime.

Teach your child it is okay to be afraid of adults who make them feel uncomfortable or they do not know. Teach your child how to get away as quickly as possible from any person who may frighten them. Teach them that adults are not 100% right. By telling your child adults are not 100% correct will make them more likely to resist and tell a trusted adult. Never let your child go into public bathrooms alone. If your child needs to use the bathroom, make sure an older sibling or adult accompanies your child to the restroom, if you are unable to go with him or her. Teach your child not to go anywhere without telling you where he or she is going. Always have the name, phone number, and address of where your child will be and check on them periodically.

Signs of sexual abuse

You have always heard parents say "why didn't I know?" or "what did I miss?" when they discover their child has been abused. Maybe someone never told them what to look for or just dismissed their child's behavior as a "phase". There are several things a parent should look for in their child, if abuse is suspected.

1. Presence of unusual sexual behavior that normally does not arise at their age. This could be an interest in sex or masturbating, for example.
2. Redness or soreness around their private areas may be a good indicator that something is wrong. Remember that redness in these areas can be from diaper rashes, so you might want to have your child examined by a doctor as soon as possible.
3. Younger children can become withdrawn, aggressive, have nightmares, wet the bed, and act out.
4. Older children may be aggressive, have difficulty in school, lack concentration, and run away from home.
5. If a child has suicidal thoughts, hurt themselves, or participate in life threatening risks, such as drugs, sexual abuse may be the culprit and try to talk to them. If talking to your child is not working, take them to a psychologist to sort things out.

In conclusion, children are more likely to be abused by someone they know, rather than a stranger. Parents my find it hard to believe someone close to them could harm their child. Always make sure to have a close relationship with your child and to teach them how to be safe. Make time to listen to your child and never blame a child for becoming a victim. It is never their fault. Use parental controls on your internet and tell them to never give out personal information over the internet, regardless of the circumstances. I hope you find these tips helpful in saving your child from these sick monsters we call pedophiles.