Say it like You Mean It

It was February 14^th, usually a day that made Valentine Chavez very happy. It was her birthday, after all, and it was Valentine's Day as well. Instead, Valentine sat next to her parents and wiped away each of the tears as they rolled down her soft cheeks.

It just was not fair, Valentine thought. Her grandmother should be alive and they should be in the kitchen cooking up those chocolate chip cookies like they had done a hundred times before. Her grandmother should not be lying in that wooden box in this lonely cemetery.

Her mother leaned towards her, "Valentine, do you want to say anything?"

Valentine shook her head. Her throat was constricted enough. She could barely breath much less try to speak the words that were in her heart.

Valentine missed the words her father and mother spoke. She missed the words her Uncle Joe spoke and did not hear anything the minister said. All she could do was try to make herself as small as possible and to concentrate on breathing. Oh, how she missed her grandmother.

Vividly, her mind rewound to last year on Valentine's Day. She had stayed the night with her grandmother and both had gotten up before the sun. They watched the sunrise, the colors blazing across the sky, as they sipped hot chocolate and wished each other a Happy Valentine's Day and a Happy Birthday.

Valentine and her grandmother shared names and birthdays and were as close as two people could be. Valentine loved to listen to her grandmother talk about when she was a child and how she had grown up in a small village high up in the mountains.

The service was finally over. Valentine could barely feel her own body move and wondered briefly if she, too, could be dead. She felt dead on the inside knowing her grandmother would never share another sunrise with her.

She walked with her parents to the call and sat in the back seat. She studied the cold landscape as the miles rolled past. She did not see the trees dancing on the cold February wind, or see the snowflakes that began to drift from the heavens. All she could see was in her mind. She could see her grandmother, and the sunrise, and chocolate chip cookies. She hastily wiped another tear away.

Finally, the car pulled into the drive. Her parents were talking about what to have for lunch while Valentine made her way to her room. She lay on her bed and pulled her pillow tight, curling up like a ball, trying to get past the pain that was in her heart.

For over an hour she lay there, thinking of her grandmother, their birthday and all that they had shared during her short life. The tears had finally stopped coming. She had cried all of her tears away.

Her mom knocked on her door, "Valentine, you have mail." Her mother said softly, "You will want to see this, honey."

Valentine rallied herself together and took a deep breath, "Come in, mom." Valentine was not a bit surprised to see her dad standing behind her mom. They had grown closer over the past few days.

Her mom was holding a blue envelope. "The postman just dropped this off. We will understand if you don't want to see it yet."

Curiously, Valentine looked at the envelope and could see the familiar scrawl of her grandmother on the envelope. As they always spent the day together, Valentine could not imagine why her grandmother would mail her something. She held out her trembling hand for the envelope. She looked up at her mom and dad and took another deep breath before slowly opening the seal.

The birthday card was covered in lilacs, another thing Valentine and her grandmother shared. She opened it slowly. Beneath the card's verse her grandmother's words leapt of the card, "I will always be your Valentine. Love, Grandma."