Say Something Weird

Are you ever caught in situations you wish you didn't have to deal with? Tired of the same old answers to the same old questions? Say something weird!

What do I mean?

Way back when we were teenagers, one of my friends innocently asked, "ya know something?" I said, "Yeah," and immediately started singing, "Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover..." Totally made my friend forget what he was going to tell me and we both had a good laugh. He still uses this on me today - 30 years later!

By saying something weird or unexpected for the situation, we can often take the steam out of it and make it easier to deal with, if we still have to deal with it at all!

A big kid was shoving me around in grammar school. When I finally had enough, here's what I said:
"Wanna fight?"
"Yeah!"
"Gonna run?"
"No way!"
"...Then how you gonna catch me?"
He thought about it for a second, and had a good laugh. We never became friends, but he stopped picking on me.

In high school, another guy bigger than me and I got into a shoving match that was broken up by a teacher. He ominiously said, "Quarter of four at the ball park," meaning that that would be the time and place for the fight to continue. I didn't want to fight, because I thought this guy could kill me! I said, "You gonna be there?"
He said, "yeah!"
"Are you gonna be there alone?:
"Yeah!"
I said,"You're darn right, 'cause I ain't gonna be there!"
Everyone that heard this laughed out loud, even the big guy! We actually became friends after that.

The last example for this article occurred in a bar. I had been drinking with my friends at a table and was leaning back in my chair pretending to get ready to chug a pitcher of beer I held in my hand. A very drunk, very large man - actually, I think he was a PLACE - grabbed the pitcher of beer, pulled my chair over backwards, and took a giant swig. Unhurt, I sprang to my feet to assess my assailant. I figured he could easily twist me into a pretzel, so all I could think of to say was, "You know, if you weren't so big, I'd've hit you for that!"
The big guy, surprisingly, dropped his guard and said, "I'm sorry, man - go ahead and hit me."
I said, "I would, but I'm afraid I'd hurt my hand!"
The crowd I was with went crazy! I impressed one girl so much that we actually went out a couple of times. The big guy found a fight elsewhere in the bar with someone else who couldn't keep a cool head.

So as you can see from examples from my younger days, saying something weird and keeping your cool can get you out of tight situations. I have more examples that I'll put in my next article. Do you have any? Let me know!