Saying Goodbye to My Soldier: A Personal Story

I saw my soldier and husband leave a few days ago for his deployment to the sandbox. I watched as the only man I will ever love, the father of my children, and his battle buddy, an MWD (Military Working Dog) got onto a plane and flew away. I could feel my heart breaking into a million little pieces as the plane got further away, taking my man for a year. But I have to be strong now. I can cry, but never in front of the children, I have to be mother and father now. I have to become mechanic, bill-payer, disciplinarian, jungle gym, everything that he was is now my job for the next year. I can't let him know when something is wrong on the home-front, that will just make him worry, and worrying is a distraction and distractions get soldiers killed.

I know how to shoot a gun now. He taught me. If the situation calls for it, I can kill someone, or seriously maim them. I will be protector of my home and children, and more importantly myself, because if something were to happen to me, the children would be lost. I protect my own, as my husband fights to protect this country.

I will be able to talk to him every few days hopefully, and hearing his voice will be like cuddling up into a fresh out of the dryer blanket. I will worry, but I will pray more that he stays safe and out of harms way. I need him, but I need him to be alive as well. I love him and there may be "opportunities" to be unfaithful, but I don't understand how being unfaithful to someone you love is an opportunity. I am not like a few other military wives, I will not sell or give away my body to other men, just for a brief connection. I will be solitary and alone for the next year, and I will enjoy him all the more when he gets home, enjoy our puppy love and the honey-moon stage all over again.

I am the silent ranks, cheering and praying for my husband, my soldier, to come home to me, alive, safe, and the same man that I fell in love with. I am the silent ranks. I am an ARMY WIFE