Saying Nice Things is My 2009 New Year's Resolution

Having a sense of humor is necessary to keep on top of the waves of life. Having a dry sense of humor is funny sometimes, but sometimes it also tends to get me into a lot of trouble. That trouble comes when my mouth opens and spits out a sarcastic response to something that has happened. I'm slowly figuring out that those responses can hurt a lot of people. So, my biggest resolution for the new year will be to say things that are nice. That's it. How do I plan to accomplish this? Here are a series of steps to do just that:

The first way will be to superglue my lips together. In this way, I will not be able to spew forth caustic remarks that have a tendency to hurt people's feelings. I won't be able to eat or drink either, but these things are of secondary importance.

After my lips have been bound satisfactorily together with adhesive, I will then have no choice but to either rage in my head that my mouth is perpetually closed, or I can talk to God and ask for some alternate ways of dealing with the sarcastic humor welling up inside. The other ways of dealing with the humor might involve, I don't know, thinking of a compliment to give the person I want to direct my remarks to, or just looking at them and saying, "I see," over and over again in my head in an effort to actually listen to what their saying. I will choose the second alternative, given that talking to God through such as situation is like breathing techniques for a woman giving birth: you've got something else to focus on besides your pain, and you don't end up throwing ice at your husband. With enough practice, it is my fervent hope that I will be able to talk to God first before I try to pry my mouth open.

I figure once I get this habit down of keeping my mouth shut and talking to God through these sorts of situations, I will then be able to remove the crusty superglue from my mouth and proceed with saying the nice things that I think of to say to people. I am planning on this becoming a habit, too. If I say nice things out loud to people, I think my heart and mind will be less inclined to retort with not-so-nice things to say.

I believe that all this habit-forming activity might just actually change who I am a little-just enough to let me be nice to people (that's my fourth step-to be changed inside), but not so much that I lose my ability to see things in a more realistic light than some bubbly, happy people who only ever think and say how great the world is. I wonder if all this is possible. With God, all things are.

Then, I will learn to appreciate people for who they are. That is my final step. Just because a person isn't like me doesn't mean I have to berate them for it every time I open my mouth. These are my five steps to being nice in the New Year.