Saying No to a Date

Most women have found themselves in a situation where they are being asked on a date they do not wish to accept. It is important to be prepared for these situations so that you can respond with tact and grace.

If a man has asked you on a date, you should try to spare his feelings if the answer is no. Never laugh or smirk when declining to go on a date with someone. Injured pride could fester for a very long time if you decline in a haughty or superior manner.

It is best to tell the truth whenever possible. If you are already dating someone else, married, or otherwise in a relationship, simply state that you are flattered by the offer, but you have a spouse/boyfriend. Don't try to cover up being in a relationship when you say no; that will simply confuse the issue.

You may be in a situation where you can't tell the truth. For example, if a man asks you out on a date, but you prefer the company of women. You can feel free to tell the truth and say that you are a lesbian. However, it is your right to decide whether you will share that information. If you do not feel comfortable disclosing your sexual identity, then you will not be able to tell the truth in this situation.

Another scenario where the truth may be inappropriate is if you simply find the person disgusting, unattractive, obnoxious, or otherwise unacceptable as a date. Rather than insult the person, you will have to gently say no without telling the unvarnished truth.

Be cautious when using any excuse other than the truth. Elaborate lies may come back to haunt you. Also, if you decline by claiming that you have a dentist's appointment, be prepared for another invitation pursuant to the completion of your dental work.

You want to make sure that your answer is final. It is better to say that you do not wish to date anyone at this time than to claim you can't go out Friday night because you have an appointment to have your oil changed. Giving an excuse that lets you off the hook only for one particular event means that you will need to continue to make up excuses every time the offer is repeated.

If you are not interested in a particular individual, saying no gently and firmly is the best solution. Always remember to spare the other person's feelings, and don't leave an opening for future invitations.