Schilling for Senate!

The Crippled Cryptic
Word broke this morning that former Boston Red Sox pitcher, World Series hero and loquacious if not profound blogger, Curt Schilling, has expressed interest in running for the Senate seat open in the wake of the death of Ted Kennedy.

At last! Finally someone free of the manacles donned over a lifetime of political promises, favors and compromises; A fresh voice of reason galloping to our rescue in this tempestuous time of economic turmoil and fractured international relations; A glimmer of light and hope in the gloomiest of prospective futures.

Have we all gone completely insane? Has our perspective become so warped that this might actually come to pass? Is it possible that our culture has become so impressed with athletic prowess to believe it can translate to any pursuit that catches the fancy of an ex-ballplayer? Is Schilling so drunk and deluded with the praises and adulations of millions of fans and re-runs of old SportsCenter highlights to believe he is now capable of anything?

The valedictorian of my local high school is a very smart kid. Gives a great speech and did a fabulous job walking my dog for me when needed. Surely he is ready to be the mayor.

The teller at my local bank is reliable and so trustworthy that I have every confidence in her as I hand her my weekly paycheck for deposit. And never once have those funds gone awry. She must be ready to assume the role of Secretary of the Treasury.

The guy who repaired the leak in my roof some time ago did such a good job that I hired him again to paint the house, and again to clean out the gutters. Is he not ready to build the next NY City skyscraper to grace the skyline?

The answer to each of these scenarios is, of course, no. But at least in these cases the candidates show some sort of affinity and talent for their potential future aspiration. Schilling's qualifications for helping to write the law of the land? For following in the footsteps of one of our greatest legislative minds from the most auspicious and brilliant of political families? For the opportunity to help shape the direction of the most powerful nation on earth?

Well, there are the 20 years pitching in the major leagues and a vocabulary downright robust for a pro athlete. There are the strikeouts and the World Series rings and a bloody sock in Cooperstown left as testimony to Schilling's courage and fortitude. But there are also the archives of a blog to help us get to know the next Senator from the Great Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Here are a few excerpts: "...the best 'business decision' might have been to let this all pass, but like many other times in my life when shutting up was the prudent course of action, I didn't." There are dozens of umpires and perhaps countless opponents (not to mention a few teammates) that can attest to this.

And there's this nugget: "I just finished giving what could only be described as the worst presentation in the history of presentations. It was horrid, absolutely horrid. I am incapable of 'writing' a presentation, it's not who I am." That should be a useful non-talent when it comes to presenting legislative concepts to the rest of the Senators.

And this peach came from the same blog entry: "It's impossible to talk about people, passion, leadership, and all that you feel goes into those things from a 'script', no matter how prepared you are." Guess there will be no speechwriter jobs opening in the Schilling campaign.

I could go on and on here, but my blog host has a word limit. Besides, you get the idea. Feel free to peruse Schilling's blog yourself should you have the inclination to endure thousands of words of drivel about video games and tons of minutia about aspects of baseball that wouldn't warrant a mention on the 24 hour sports news channels on the slowest of news days.

But let me be fair, Schilling is not a bad guy, and I say this with the full disclosure of the fact that I am a NY Yankees' fan. No, he has done some very solid charitable work and has aligned himself with some excellent causes. I'm merely citing the lack of applicable experience and demonstrated intelligence that we should all demand from our nation's most powerful public servants. Anything less and we compromise everything our founding fathers stood, fought and died for.

I will also acknowledge Schilling's statement that much of this talk has derived from others (rabid, lunatic, and most likely inebriated Red Sox fans, no doubt) planting this seed in Schilling's mind, encouraging him to "use his star power to effect needed change." But I must encourage Mr. Schilling to use that well-developed talent fostered over years pitching in hostile environments such as Yankee Stadium - the ability to ignore these voices. Whether it be vociferous booing, slander directed at family members, criticisms or doubts of any real talent, or suggestions to run for public office: Schilling should heed them not at all.

If politics is a real ambition, then by all means, feel free to dip your toe in the water. Local councils and boards of education are a good place to start. After all, you didn't sign a pro contract and begin your career in the major leagues, did you? Even the best of aspiring politicians need seasoning in the "minors."

But to believe you are ready, able and qualified to follow one of the most venerated and legendary of lawmakers is naïve at the least and dangerous in the extreme. Voters might just be foolish enough to equate a major league fastball with political hardball. You ought to know better.

After all, you don't see me applying for the editorship of The New York Times, do you?

Published by The Crippled Cryptic

15 year+ veteran of the book industry, now focused on professional & freelance writing. Expertise in publishing/literature, current events, sports, coins/numismatics, fitness & nutrition.  View profile

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.