School Bullying and How to Prevent It: A Guide for Parents & Students

Every week provides us with another heart-breaking story about the consequences of school bullying. Just this past January, fifteen year-old Phoebe Prince committed suicide in Massachusetts after being bullied for months at her High School. According to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center, "Almost 30% of youth in the United States (or over 5.7 million) are estimated to be involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both. In a recent national survey of students in grades 6-10, 13% reported bullying others, 11% reported being the target of bullies, and another 6% said that they bullied others and were bullied themselves." With the increase of school bullying across the country many have asked; is there anything that we can do?

While there is no one easy solution for this problem, there are several strategies that students can utilize to help create a "bully-free" zone in their school. Based on twenty tears working professionally with young people, let me offer a few practical steps.

Avoid the School Bully

I realize that this sounds easier said than done, but you would be surprised how effective this strategy can be. The old expression "out of sight, out of mind" seems to work. I have witnessed many cases of the student being harassed traveling in the same "pack" as the bully. Bullies are often desperate to impress others, finding that harassing an innocent bystander is an easy way to accomplish that goal. One proactive way to neutralize the bully is to avoid any situation that places you in the "line of fire".

Avoid Comprising Situations

In this era of technology, cell phone cameras, facebook, myspace, and texting, it is very important to realize that every embarrassing moment has the potential to end up in the hands of thousands of people. Anything that you post, email, or reveal online can (and will) be used against you. I would strongly encourage every parent to monitor their child's Internet and cell phone activity and to serve as a filter for any information that is sent out into cyberspace. Also, if you are being bullied or harassed online, immediately involve a trusted adult.

Involve a Trusted Adult

Obviously, informing your parents is very important to do. I realize that you may feel embarrassed, but it may be the most important thing that you can do to stop bullying from continuing. Once you've done that, notify a teacher or principal who works at your school. If you are afraid of being teased, you can ask them to keep the information confidential. Most teachers will gladly oblige your request. Keep in mind; bullies never like being "outed". That is one of the reasons they warn you to "stay quiet." The more trusted adults that you involve, the better it will be for you.

Involve a Mutual Friend

Sometimes it is effective to involve a mutual friend. You can recruit this friend to help mediate between you and the person who has conflict with you. It may work even better if you have a group of shared friends that can be involved. As you realize, peer pressure is very important to most school-age students. Why not use this pressure for good? You'll be surprised at how effective this may be.

Talk It Out

Sometimes there is more than meets the eye. It's possible that you may find yourself with an opportunity when confronted by a bully. If all else fails, it may work out if you simply approach the person and ask if you can talk about your concerns. You may find yourself surprised by the response, as some bullies are acting out of a sense of rejection, and even insecurity. Try and remember that bullies are people too. Approach that student as a fellow human being, and you may end up with a brand new friend.

Other Tips for Dealing with the School Bully
* Fighting is the Last Option
* Treat Others Fairly, it Comes Back Around
* Attitude is Contagious

Sources
http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/faq/bullying.asp
http://www.familyfirstaid.org/bullying.html
http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/22987784/detail.html