Searching for the Perfect Life: Achieving Perfect Moments

We sit and wonder, often daydreaming what life is all about...

We search for answers to the unexplained in hopes of something that will impact our life so profoundly we find change within ourselves.

We all search and thrive to achieve the perfect life.

And we should seek for better tomorrows, ways of impacting our lives...

But usually there comes a cost for the perfect life. There is something we must give up in order to obtain or continue our search. I know this because I am human and I have fought to achieve success leading me into my perfect life. So where did I get lost in my venture?

There was so much I gave up on a personal level. My happiness and dreams soon disappeared. But why was I so unhappy and lonely when I was on the road to my achievements?

I was on the wrong road in my search. Life became unfulfillable and lonely as health deteriorated my life. I watched as my life crumbled before me. No longer the free spirit, I once was, nor was I the person to make people laugh any longer because my life turned to turmoil. My road to a perfect life was gone, or so I thought.

My children blamed me, because we no longer had the life we had as two working parents. We did not have the money for extra luxuries we had accustomed ourselves to. We had to change our shopping habits as we were now on one income. Gone was the new car, gone were the days I could take my kids shopping anytime they needed or requested something. My life was slipping away and I had no control.

Through my medical ordeal I have learned that there is no perfect life, because we are humans with choice and sometimes we do not have a choice because what we once knew is suddenly ripped from us, leaving only confusion in it wake.

I was so distraught that my achievements for the perfect were now memories as my life entered into the medical confusions and surgeries. I can no longer drive or do any of the things I use to do in my life. I was a social butterfly. I loved being with friends and family. I loved shopping and running the track with my kids. None of this could exist in my life any longer.

Instead, I awake to take medication and pray that my body gives me the strength to not fall or I cry because the pain is bad. I have become good at hiding the tears of pain, because I have saw the panic and worry in my child's eyes and I swore they would never see that again.

I am strong even when I am weak at the mercy of others. I remain strong because I now see that searching for the perfect life does not exist. A perfect life does not exist for anyone. We all have turbulence's within our lives, some worse than others, some just as bad.

I have learned to search everyday for the perfect moments. Recently, I began writing them down and throughout my day I have quite a few perfect moments making my heart lighter. To see life, is to see life all around you. Most of us get so caught up in the day to day routines that we stop seeing the perfect moments. The perfection of innocents is around us everyday.

My perfect day on a regular basis consists of little pain; watching the birds fly and play around me; the soft breeze and noise the wind carries to my ears as I lay in the grass making figures out of the clouds above me; the laughter my kids bring to me each day, as I sometimes watch them in silence. This brings a smile to my face and a song in heart of how innocent life is. I lay in my bed with the pillows all around, the fan on low so the breeze will move my hair as it graces upon my face, I snuggle deeper into my pillow that so gently puts me to sleep every night. These are only a few examples of my perfect moments with my life.

I don't get to get out much but when I do my favorite place to go is by the river where you can feel the energy of the falls and water rushing. I love to just sit and feel the moment and the coolness coming from the water. I love watching the rain and at times have just gone outside to feel it upon my face as I look towards the sky. The ocean is my place of refuge regardless of rain or sunshine. There is a power in nature's wonderment's, fulfilling my perfect moments in life.

So achieving the perfect life comes in perfect moments. The wind softly blowing in your hair as the sound float through the ear, so many sounds if you stop and listen can bring a smile to your face. Even if it is only a brief moment...it was perfect.